Most read stories

With an Emphasis on the Shine

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How her camisole strap falls, her bare shoulder, her tattooed arm like an old, Coney Island mural. That dream she had: I bought her a fake, diamond necklace in Manhattan. She wanted to kiss me in the alley but was afraid of the rats

A Name

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I can still feel the texture of those humid Delta mornings, hear the rhythm of the voices of black children echoing down the halls. I still remember the sense of purpose that I had each day, knowing that this, here, mattered: a child’s education, their

The Sad History of the Tearless Onion

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Matthias Fenstermacher loved onions, but hated slicing them, and so he labored to produce a tearless variety. His first attempt was indeed tearless--instead of weeping, the slicer was overcome by fits of uncontrollable giggles. The potential hazard was

Finale

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the future wrapped up in a dream

Yellow Pages

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Yellow Pages season is on us now, and Jimmy's drivin' a contract route. He'll head out to the San Joaquin where they print, and load ‘em in the back of his Tundra with the high side walls until the whole damned rig sags low,

Silent Season

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we are tired, you and I.

Nietzsche

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12 lines

A Story

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Like many little towns, ours has an archive. It is a catalog of everything that happens.

In Your Absence

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In Your Absence the yard-cat, Flower, has started sleeping on top of the fridge

the ethics of graffiti

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They Take Those Most Willing to Endure, Write Them Off the Map, and Leave You to 'Resign' Yourself to What's Left

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[DO NOT READ BETWEEN THIS LINE ... CITIZEN!]

A Rich Future

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Also in development,/ the anatomically perfect robot/ pool boy and naughty maid,

Office M

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It is a sunny day in the autumn of the patriarch.

INGOB

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They think Van Gogh heard music when he looked at his starry nights. Working at a Bingo parlor, you get to believing in a one-in-a-million shot just as much as you doubt the rarity of a sure thing. I only worked part time at the bingo parlor because I ne

The tenth point of possession being this... Rev2

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Guys on safari wearing safari jackets shoot things all day, things with funny names …

Cinderella Reconsiders

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take back all the falderal and friggin' fiddle dee dee take back the mad murmuring of ten minutes ago

The Karaoke Girls

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The Karaoke Girls are not appreciated. Not nearly enough and not often enough.

North from Laguna Beach

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I was Orson Welles skulking in the shadows and you Alida Valli; our time measured like footsteps advancing on Gethsemane.

Band Names

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Post No Bills. The Crouton Mavens. United Burglars Union. Crockpot Mistakes. The Heavy Doors. Fire In the Yurt. Douche Baguettes. Upsy-Daisey. Schmazelhood. Sidetrackia. Flotsam and Jetsam. Argyle Sox. Roachmobile. The Adulterer’

Cheerful but Awful

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With such a world/ one must invent a heaven

DANCING ON AIR

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You were at a saloon on Water Street. Witnesses say. You were taken out of the place and put on a sloop against your will. Witnesses don’t say.

The Diet of Worms

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He had stared at the back of his neck for so long that images of his nape flashed into view randomly throughout the day like interfering signals from a station just out of reach, DESIRE CHANNEL, or something, reminding him of his skewed priorities, his fa

The Arks What Weren't

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Mrs. Noah eyed the thickening clouds from the front stoop. Noah was still out in the yard kicking up sand in disgust, arguing with himself the whole time. Piles of cedar timber lay strewn all about. Maybe if they’d lived even three days’ journey clos

Mannequin

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Having sex with her there made me feel like a child molester, I said. She said it made her excited.

Secrets of the Kama Sutra

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“No names,” she said. “I am the mysterious woman, and you are the handsome stranger.”

How to Have a Fulfilling Sexual Relationship with Your Own Parents (Part Two)

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Hi, I'm Harmony Korine. I esteem douchebags.

Seven Things I Learned About David Letterman from Jason Zinoman's "Letterman: The Last Giant of Late Night."

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Never touch David Letterman's neck!

Invasive Species

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Except, something about Margaret was a little off. She would stop typing suddenly and look up at the plant, studying it, almost as if daring it to cross her. Then, she would go back to her computer and start pounding away again.

Language

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this reaching, this striving to love like it's there becoming something we need.

Patriot Ford

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As American as hotdogs and apple pie...