Most read stories

The Cuckold

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his wife had made love to another man, out of spite or love or to wake him from his conventional slumber, we never learned. We were there as a foil, a first step towards reconciliation, unction.

Elephant

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Urine is essence.

The Hamster Eulogies

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But not once did we mention heaven. The next day we bought another one.

The Next Stanley Kubrick

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I have, for example, watched Stanley Kubrick's "The Shining" 117 times.

Arcana Magi Zero - v.1: Alysia's Saga, the Awaken

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The last thing eleven year-old Alysia Perez remembered, she clenched her mother’s waist as they both turned to stone in the museum. When she opened her eyes, she was in a world of darkness.

The Defective Detective : The Curious Case of the Kilchester Courier

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In which Clint is sucked into a remarkably civilised but mildly deranged crime scene. There he encounters almost-blackmail, not-actually prostitution, probable-sex scandals, genuine-imposters & the very real theft of something incredibly important. Twice.

Office Politics

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The summer of 1974, between high school and college, I got my first real job, paid corporate employment. My mother couldn't stand having me underfoot, sitting around all day, watching TV. She drove me in the family station wagon to a temporary secretarial agency. I told…

Losing (Valentine's Day Massacre Poem)

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Paid and laid, they leave.

A Girl's Legs Stirring The Air

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A girl’s legs stirring the air up behind his back as he lies between her thighs stirring the air repetitively like a sea anemone stirring the water to feed the soul, the hunger between the legs and arms for new life, stirring up

War

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Once, an elephant contracted a sudden bolt of insanity in the streets of Ernakulam and trampled three children under her feet before she was shot to death. It took them seven bullets to bring her down.

A New Tattoo

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She’s waving, Hey, I’m home! Like nothing’s happened. Like weeks haven’t passed since she left.

Better

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My father-in-law is drunk. This is something only my husband and I know: the old man does not stagger or flail, he is not vacant; neither too-friendly nor hostile to the woman who shows us to a table and sets down three bundles of silverware wrapped in paper…

My Kentucky Fried Ascension (Memoir)

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...as a boy I rode once in an elevator with Colonel Sanders...

Responsible

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This morning, she woke to the banshee: “Individuals must get up early and put in a full day’s work in this economy!”

Myrtle Beach Daze

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He started plucking at my back like it was a banjo. Lucky for me, he was no Earl Scruggs. My virtue was safe with my Earl. We would have been there until the Second Coming, my bra still safely fastened, if I'd have stuck around.

Car

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My father brought home a turquoise Porsche with red leather upholstery. My sister and I were small, eight and six, and fit tightly in the jumpseats behind my parents.We went for a ride, tooled around Rome, circled the Colosseum, showing off for the people looking. My father…

Baby, Baby...

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Co-workers come in to pee or brush their teeth and the pump squeaks and from the stall, Ling says sorry…I'm sorry.

Things I Should Have Done - #3

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Should I have shooed the cats from my bed? Shaken awake the silky tangle of feline true love curled at my feet? Shut their bedroom door against them? Perhaps, maybe, I don’t know.

We Need to Breathe

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She turned and looked at me as if she had just discovered me. A weak smile looped around the edges of her mouth but she didn't mean it. It was as if her brain had relayed a signal to her mouth to smile but the mouth didn't really want to, not really.

Black Squirrel Poem

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disorderly black squirrels / inhabit upper Michigan

The Impulse of Breathing

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She listens to the rhythm of the tide, each surge and surrender like the death of an old life and the resurrection of something new.

Whose Barney's Version is This, Anyway?

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Early reviews of Barney’s Version (the film) had prepared me for finding the book’s most amusing attributes – particularly its skewering of Quebec nationalist politics and Canadian cultural nationalism – left out. After all, turning a 417-page account of

Bear Costume

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He ran over our elderly neighbor Lenard, but not on purpose, or at least not as far as we could tell; there wasn't any yelling, I mean, and he didn't look happy when he got out of the car, though who could really tell through a bear costume.

The Night of the Day the Khoi-Khoi Meet Bartolomeu Dias and Crew

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It keeps coming back to the end of the world. Dogs sitting on roofs, birds flying about indoors, clattering locusts.

How Dinner With John Updike Ruined My Teaching Career

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Christmas Eve, 1989, I had dinner with John Updike.

Oh, Fish Eggs!

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A motivational speaker I know intimately cannot abide any form of swearing.

Bedtime Story

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Let me tell you a story, child, of how your father became your father...

My Mother Loved To Dance

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I can picture her

Petty Injuries

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Fault and blame can be forgotten after three steep flights of stairs. Pregnant-lady-take-the-elevator kind of steep. I-said-elevator, holy-shit-she’s-falling kind of steep. A-faked-relief-when-the-child-is-born, but-born-special kind of steep.

7 or 8 Things I Know About Him - A Stolen Biography

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Wonderful When his mother was a little girl, her father would braid her hair until it was exactly right. When she asked him how it looked, he always said,…