I can picture her raking leaves in spring under the flashy forsythia, preparing dark soil for dazzling violets, letting me drop in seeds that slipped from my hands like magic spice.
I can picture her kneel on hardwood spreading wax, then letting me rag-skate through the expanse of living room, corridor, and beyond to polish everything.
I can picture her haul loads of exuberant fruit home from market, boiling cherries in June, sectioning bruised pears for canning in September.
I don't even know why she prized dancing so much.
Here is the rule she lived by: you get one man in life, and if he doesn't want to dance, you're out of luck.
I saw her dance just once with my fiancé at a Country Western bar. She was seventy-two. Her nose was turned up and her eyes sparked triumph. Soon she had trouble breathing. She didn't want to stop. My father grumbled. "But dancing!" he hissed when she finally sat down gasping.
I can picture her breathless, too, at the rim of the Grand Canyon.
One morning she quietly died in her sleep.
Sometimes when I dance, I can feel her laughing in my bones. She was meant for joy.
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For my mother, wherever she may be.
Absolutely love this, Beate. It's a lesson in using specific strong detail in writing. You made me love this woman. She is so vivid to me. Gorgeous writing. *
I love this woman and I feel like I know her because of your excellent detail specific presentation. Kathy already said most of this, but it's worth telling you a second time. Lovely and substantial. *
Wow. What a piece. I really love what you create in these 200 words. Beautiful.
This just floored me, Beate. Lovely images, fascinating characters. Just beautiful.
Wonderful writing, Beate.
It was this:
"Here is the rule she lived by: you get one man in life, and if he doesn't want to dance, you're out of luck."
fave
What a brilliant hommage.
" ..I can feel her laughing in my bones," an image that will resonate with me for a long time.
Poignant. Terrific writing. *
yes. so much. fave.
Wow, Kathy, MaryAnne, Jules, Susan, Sam, James, David, Andrew, Meg! Thank you so much for your generous comments and faves. Obviously this means much to me.
This is very poignant--all the physical strength and movement, then the trouble breathing. Life.*
That closing line is gorgeous.
Somehow it feels like dance is right there suggested in the piece - in the 'flashy forsythia,' and the 'dazzling violets' even before you expressly mention it.
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Beautiful piece, Beate, a telling memoir.
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Beautiful Beate. Peace *
Many thanks, Jane, Roberta, Susan, Linda. I'm grateful for your comments.
This piece evoked such emotion in me, made me miss my own momma. A testament to the power of your gorgeous images, and the dancing similes and metaphors. We can never fully capture the parent, and yet what you have done here is marvelous. *
Thank you, Robert. I miss mine too.
Beautiful *
Thank you, Marcelle!
Fabulous portrait of your mother, Beate.
Thank you, Marc!
a wonderful portrait, totally inspiring: makes me want to think and write about my mother. it doesn't get much better than this!
I don't seem to be able to come up with words to express how much I love this piece.
Beate,
Beautiful homage to this woman!!! The dance! Always the dance!! Loved it!***
Marcus, Carol, Meg, thank you for your wonderful comments. They are much cherished. Especially on Mother's Day.
Marvelous story. Such a big picture from so few words: what I most admire about the micro. All capped off with best of the best last lines. Wonderful!
*****
'Dancing with the fiance at 72' was a classic! Take a bow!
A touching piece backboned by really good writing. *
Lovely, lovely piece.
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"letting me drop in seeds that slipped from my hands like magic spice."
Consider:
"letting me drop in seeds that slipped like magic spice from my hands."
Ajay, not only did she dance valiantly at 72, but she hadn't practiced for a good 40 to 50 years!
Thank you for your comment!
Foster and Bill, thank you for your wonderful comments. You made my day!
lovely memory.
A gorgeous tribute, Beate. *
Beate---how you touch my heart! I just lost my beloved husband of fifty years and your words drop into the emptiness like rain onparched soil. Thank you. Marci Stillerman
Beate,
I want you to know your lovely memoir piece inspired the 2012 River Poets Journal's Special Edition theme on Mothers, as yet untitled. I'm hoping you contribute this piece for that issue. Fav
Wow! what a piece Beate. So haunting, poignant and sad, yet there is so much raw beauty in your imagery - a feast for the senses - and plenty of love and redemption, honoring her memory and remembering with fondness! Wonderful piece. Fave. *
So rich, warm ,and vibrant. I think we are all meant for joy, but how quick and often we forget. Thanks for sharing your joyful mom with us.
Ah, this is a poem! Lovely and so warm. You want to take this person in your arms and dance with her.
"I can feel her laughing in my bones."
that is a gorgeous line. i hope my kids can write/say something like that about me...someday.
lovely tribute-beautiful*
Lovely, Beate. You've painted your whole mother in a few paragraphs and one quote. I'm glad you got to see her dance.
Thank you for reading and commenting on Sin. Words of praise from writers as good as you are mean a lot to me.
Beautiful, haunting mother-daughter connection fv*
I'm calling my mother as soon as she wakes up! She is 73 and called me from her garden 2 days ago. You made me cry with the similarities and the beautiful portrait you painted with words. Thank you so much for giving us this.
so lovely. thank you so much.
Oh, that is so beautiful. The exuberance and purity of her. Thank you!
I love this small glimpse, it's beautiful. ***
A wonderful memoir - she was great teacher.