Should I have shooed the cats from my bed? Shaken awake the silky tangle of feline true love curled at my feet? Shut their bedroom door against them? Perhaps, maybe, I don't know. Jonathan and I had been reading The New York Times on a snowy Sunday morning. When my phone sang (Jonathan had changed the ring tone to a lovely tune), he left to brave the cold for Dunkin' Donuts coffee (mine decaf) and plastic muffins I wouldn't eat and he would eat too fast with an open mouth. He would not notice his trail of blueberry crumbs left on my pristine white duvet. I let the call go. With Jonathan gone, I dove into the Styles section for my fix of New York weddings slated for the weekend. I sought out the intricate stories with interesting time-lines; six months from first meeting to altar, via internet dating; a second chance fifty years in the making, childhood sweethearts whose original spouses had died. When Jonathan returned I was reading about the featured marriage of the week. The wedding had occurred some time back, the black and white was platinum-hued; she was ethereal and winsome, he, handsome and beautifully formed. I could see they were madly in love. I looked up when Jonathan pulled off his sweats and sat on my bed in his underwear. He did not look fetching that way. We had been together a year, but I still hadn't figured out what didn't work: his squat legs, a chest too broad for his height (he was a short man), or his middle, a stomach flat from swimming, but a waist that was square. His nose was strong and his eyes long-lashed, a pool blue. He had a great head of hair. I tried not to judge his limited vocabulary, his heavy reliance on Howard Stern as his primary source of news, or his occasional tendency to pout. A romantic, he was a great planner, and extraordinarily pleased, jealousy-free, when other men looked at me. He loved to my distraction. On Friday nights he drove a hundred miles so we could spend weekends together. I appreciated the effort, most of the time. He had been talking marriage, pressuring me to fully commit. In the featured marriage, the bride was an artist, a portraitist of miniatures. She had long lived in Soho, in a building of lofts, a pioneer when the area was still woolly, the drafty spaces unconverted, free of things like showers and tubs, even toilets. Wildly successful later in life, to the journalist she admitted that she never possessed any innate ambition, and thought her refusal to overtly seek the brass ring had created demand for her work. She never married, had never come close. “A traditional life didn't interest me, but I never thought that meant I wouldn't have a husband and children,” she was quoted as saying. She was used to a single and singularly expansive life when she met her now-husband in what, now, is their elevator. She considered him her first proper date in fifteen years. However, it was subtly implied that the artist had not foregone sex during those years. He was a businessman, two decades divorced, with a fortune and two married daughters with whom he was close. Newly retired, needing a “sea change,” he sold his expansive Park Avenue place. He instructed his broker to look below Houston. “It was serendipity that I bought the loft above hers.” Soho had long been chic; his loft had been pricey. When he said, “Our relationship moved to the cycle of business,” it was noted that his eyes sparkled, his laugh, deep and true. They met and in four-month increments, cohabitated, conjoined real estate, crooned vows. She was just fifty and he was closer to sixty, but they looked fresh and radiant, with a certain élan. In the photograph, their bodies interlocked well. Immediately after they wed, in a splash of a party, they adopted two children from two different countries that still allowed late parental-age adoptions. His first-issue daughters were already doting aunts. The artist's painting was going well: “My brush now has a certainty hard to define.” He was writing a novel. Their adopted children, named according to their origins at birth, were wonderfully adjusted and precious. The formerly single artist, now incredulously married, was given the last words. “Early on, I decided to wait for the absolute right one. Having not settled, I was unchained when he came along.” When Jonathan, a lazy reader at the best of times, grew bored, he said, “If you put the cats out of the bedroom, I'll go down on you.” It was something he did exquisitely well. I looked at him but said nothing. He adjusted the band on his underpants. When the cats pawed at my chest, I lifted the comforter and let them burrow beneath, into the warmth of my wishbone, and when they settled down, in for the long haul, I closed my legs around them.
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This is the third entry in my project "Things I Should Have Done".
Single paragraph is intentional.
*** Things I Should Have Done - #1, #2 and #4 are up here as well.
so, you read those in the times too, eh?
seriously, love this--for its artful run, and form, for its loving detail, layer after layer of observation. a character study of characters i'd like to know. one can see them--see them outside the story . all to the good--
Nice, nice work, Cherise. I like this trilogy. Great form and language here.
yes, I've been enjoying following along with this trilogy, Cherise - it is, as Gary suggests, an artful run and I love how it reads aloud.
each one is getting a little bit longer -- intentional? An interesting progression, like how it informs on the trilogy as a whole.
Gary and Sam,
Thank you for your wonderful, generous comments.
Julie,
Thank you for reading. So glad you've been interested to follow along. I love that you read it aloud. It's not been intentional that each has been getting longer, but I am very aware of that fact. I actually don't have a specific plan in for the project, I just feel compelled to keep doing them!
Cherise,
Those comments from the Times are the kind of things you might find on some of my wife's paintings, Sherry Karver, at the Kim Foster Gallery.
Jerry, thanks for reading, and I will definitely check out your wife's work and the gallery!
Cherise! I love how you wove this one. It has wonderful fluidity but the whole time retains control. As a reader, it is a nice place to be, immersed in your work, because I know you will carry me where I need to go.
Thank you so much Sara.
Yes, you flesh out the news report very well, and tie it into your present situation seamlessly. Got into this one more than the first two, this has that artful run that Gary mentions. But I sense a turbulence underneath, built from the title premise and the possibilities. You didn't shoo the cats away, staying in your reverie of the perfect couple's perfect wedding and perfect life (for ones with means) and waited for that for yourself, which probably didn't work out. But, maybe just me, I get that "Richard Cory went home last hight and put a bullet in his head" feeling.
Any story that got me working on those levels with my first read of the day deserves a star from me.
Another one that might intimidate from the visual unbroken narrative and yet, once one has read into it, one cannot stop. Really nice, Cherise.
Walter, I'm thrilled this got your multi-levels working right off the bat! I'm glad the underlying turbulence came through for you. Thank you for the fav.
Just to be clear, the "you" mentioned in your comment is her, not me!
I'm so glad Susan that once you started you couldn't stop. I was worried about the single paragraph looking intimidating and being off-putting, but felt it should remain unbroken.
Cherise, I enjoyed reading all of these in a series: 3, 1, 2. The unbroken paragraph did give me hesitation before I started reading like not jumping into water that might be cold, but I liked it after I did it and carry the set inside like a growing story, a three-headed lily.
The narrator in #3 is rejecting in the most specific (enlightening & entertaining)ways of the man, who reads objectively (between the lines) as not half-bad, revealing the mysteries of mating.
giving this a second read on a sunny afternoon...
regret is ambiguous. of all the emotions, is it the trickiest?
i am struck by the word "should" in these three stories--i read them as narrators with tales of regret. the theme of what i "should have done" or "might have done" has a rich literary history, especially james joyce, in paris, reflecting on "his unlived life," what might have become of him, what he might have seen, had he remained in dublin (Dubliners).
regret is ambiguous, meaning: it is good for the art, not so good for the lived life. what works for a narrator of a short fiction may not work for its author--but we already know that.
kierkegaard put it this way: "life must be lived forward, but can only be understood backwards."
Cherise, this is fiction, what ho? I'm just using the "I" of the title. We do place ourselves in the character as we write, no? Its part of the joy of writing.
Walter. Absolutely we put ourselves into our characters as we write, at least half the fun. Based on the title of the series, and the use of I, I wanted to insure these weren't being read as memoir writing.
Thank you for reading Ann, and that you are carrying the trio (thus far) in your head were marvelous words for me to read!
I love that Kierkegaard quote, Gary, and you hit it dead on: the tales are all backward looks of the narrator, whether in the far past, or more currently. Regret filtered. And, you're right, the use of "should" is what propels it all.
I agree with Walter that this third is more engaging to me than the other two. The understated theme has powerful implications ... drags you in.
More please?
Thanks James for responding. It's great to know what engaged to greater/lesser extent!
These decisions--marriage etc.--fascinate me. What a good job you did capturing some of that odd ambivalence. I loved the straight-forward feel of the prose.
I'll be sure to get to #1 and #2. I really enjoyed this.
Kimberly, thank you, so glad you enjoyed it. I look forward to your comments on #1 and #2. There will be further numbers down the road.
I agree with Mr. Bjorkman. This had my attention all the way. I could have easily read several more pages.
Matthew, thanks for your feedback, very appreciated.
This is fabulous, Cherise!
You have a superb command of your narrative voice, you graphically illustrate appealing characters, and you tell meaningful stories with graphic details. I just reread one, two, and three in succession and I am greatly impressed with your writing style and technique: definitely interested in reading more.
Thank you, thank you, Marcelle!
JMC,
Thank you for such remarkable comments. You and Marcelle have just made my day. There is more coming. I hope I don't get shaky from the wonderful reviews!
The heavy notion of "sea change" is buried deep in the details, love the way you worked the reading of the wedding page into the details of this scene, and the contrast between the couple on the page and the couple on this page. The artist as portraitist of miniatures is perfect,too: was that real?
Very cool idea!
This is awesome. What a terrific read.
Michelle. Thank you for reading and your lovely comments, so glad you enjoyed.
Thank you Lou. I love the word awesome!
Chrise, this is so well written and interesting. and believable
great use of detail, i love the inner monologue and how true it feels.
Susan and Meg,
Thank you!
Very nice way of leaving her inner turbulence and the tacit comparison of the dream-marriage in the Times (which is so perfect as to be almost cartoonish), with her current situation. Lavish detail, but with little spent on Jonathan, just enough to paint him as a character and everything the narrator is starting to feel about him. Again, very nice.
I appreciate your comments greatly, Jason, thank you.
Wow, this is lovely. So much. And you completely take me into the picture.
Beate, thank you! What a great comment to receive on a Monday, and for the fav, too. Merci.
Beautiful and sensuous and so full of life and love. Your writing could not be more perfectly suited to the story. Great syntactic architecture to be admired again and again.
Darryl, many thanks for the lovely comments.
Cherise, great story and very neat. Character has a problem and seems to solve it in this short piece. All the elements of a good story!
Sara, thank you for the read!
There is a smartness about this that I enjoyed, Cherise.
Thanks Ajay. Smartness is good!
How did I not fav it until now?
Thank you, John, for the fav. Any fav, at any time!
Love the way this unfurled. Love this series of yours. Peace...
Linda, thanks and so happy you're loving the series!
Lovely story. one awkward sentence: He loved to (my) distraction. Faved.
Thank you Melissa, for the read and the fav. I have debated over that line, thank you for your input!
Melissa, you are right. I have gotten rid of the (my). Thank you for the input!
I like how she makes her choice at the story's end - so much is implied by that action. Good job! Favorited.
George,
Sorry for missing your comment on this from some days ago. Ah, yes, that final action! Thanks so much for reading and for the fav.
Very interesting piece, Cherise. Lots of layers. I love the ending.
There's a lot I'm told here but more I want to know.
e.g.
"changed the ring tone to a lovely tune)"
I want to know which tune.
"they adopted two children from two different countries"
Which two countries? Why not say?
"Their adopted children, named according to their origins at birth,..."
Give the names. I'm curious.
etc.
One query:
"He loved to my distraction."
Doesn't read right to me. What do you intend here?
[I see from above comments you deleted the "my." But do you mean "He loved me to distraction"?]
Thanks so much Bill, for the read, the comments and questions. I like how you want to know more. I deliberately did not include the names of the children or their birth countries, for me, it is more about the story the narrator reads into this couple's history, focusing on the specifics of that couple's relationship, and the generalities of the life they are creating.
I'll consider changing tune to a sound perhaps, rather than naming something that will set in time.
I did mean "He loved to my distraction." She is divided in whether she wants Jonathan at all. I so appreciate all the thoughts!
Cherise, I felt that your piece said that we all have a way of not settling, even when we are settled... and if only for a Sunday morning. I especially liked the quote from the artist, "Early on, I decided to wait for the absolute right one. Having not settled, I was unchained when he came along.” Easy to claim when you've been dateless for fifteen years, while having sex with people you wouldn't date.
Grey, thank you for your really interesting comments and for reading. I appreciate it!
I love all the signs of relationship doom at the beginning, this complete riff in the middle - what a great ride - interrupted in a way to render the boyfriend's proposition quite unwelcome. This is masterful. * -- Q
neat she doesn't know what he does for a living still. the primacy of the perfect marriage in her mind. good choice at the end, for going with the cat!