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My Tongue

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A nun once told me to watch my tongue. This is not an easy thing to do.

My Almost-Clash with The Rolling Stones (Memoir)

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I'd been living in Boston, but, on a whim, flew to London, England. Soon I was working as support staff for the actor Alan Bates and his wife, Victoria, on a movie called "The Shout", shooting in Devon.

Reading at the Anatomy Museum

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If you know how, all bodies can be read like books, like poems, like scraps of song

Mayweather

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where I'm from

Dear Envelope Said the Stamp

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I have no more use for the beautiful words you used to like so much for me tosend you alone. See my feathers donot so much hide me now as giveme away; I tend to feel farfrom home. Forgive me this. Theend jumped by me quicker than anorange flower cricket on its…

Arcana Magi - c.27: Hard Battle

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A burst of mud spilled out over Jonas and scooped his body up like a raging river. It spun his body over in a rebound rather than pushing him through the door.

halloween haiku

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a dry bony voice/from a desiccated soul/coughs up its own throat.

The Crickets Try to Organize Themselves Into Some Raucous Pentameter.

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A secret search rolled from Odette's eyes. A gulch split her down the middle and she had the world believing this was the way she liked it. Odette was a woman who spent entire days bending backward within herself, never letting on that she was…

In Portland, Where It Rains

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So many opportunities for mud can be found in these hills,

Snake and Duck

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Gloomy night slippery as snake and duck.

The Road To Baghdad

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In late summer 2000 Dick Cheney held a secret strategy meeting in a hunting lodge deep in the hills of southeastern Wyoming. It was Cheney's own place, bought with the money he'd ripped from the trough with both hands through decades of what…

Arcana Magi Memorial - c.3

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Despite the light of the torches, the darkness around them was overwhelming. They could not see the walls unless they leaned the flames close.

Her Side of the Story

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I can't even tell you when it all started to come apart, but I do know that they're just nervous tics, responses to stress. We all go through it.The fact is I wouldn't even be bringing up any of this if it wasn't for the fact of the… incident… Shit, I know I wasn't…

Exchange Rates for Zynga

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When farming started in September, I thought of gambling, of my childhood best friend’s marriage ruined due to gambling, and of farming as a trope for living in the Midwest.

The Dooleys

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Mama told me never to play with the Dooley boys. They play too rough, they’re not to be trusted, and no one has seen Mrs. Dooley since she tried to clean out their tree house. Mama would always say, “You play with the Dooley Boys, you play with Satan.”

Harley Davidson Fanny Pack

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Harley Davidson fanny pack

Quarters, Pasos, Arabians

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Sometime that night I heard one; you get so you know when they’re coming in low down the valley or set up high over the coastals and I was sure about it.

Ribs

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The moun­tains of humil­ity went silent, / the rain of regency dried its eyes

The Killer

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It don't knock you down to the goddamned ground and push your face into the mat and dare you to get back up. Just so it can knock you down again. They don't have real dreams. Dreams that make them wake up in the middle of the night. Hurting. Wanting.

The Great Bank Run of 1912

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She bought her first gerbil at the age of nine. She wondered if he would die from endless logrolling. When he died from natural causes, she refused to bury him and kept a distance from the first boy who kissed her--Thomas J. Hobbit. The next year a twister swept…

Why They Cried: Roy

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“Where did it go? You don’t know do you?” he teased the dogs as he adjusted the bottle rocket he had twisted into the ground at his feet, trying to find the optimal path.

The Gospel According to Teeny

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Then I heard it -- a sound like an oboe being strangled. Teeny was farting onto the cement stoop through her jeans, a tripple flutter blast.

A Little Peace

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One night we were invited out for dinner, and we got into a knock-down, drag-out that afternoon. My wife got so angry I had to hold her down on the bed.

The Jewish Goodbye

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"And secondly, it’s never bing bing bing with you. It’s like, bing bang bongity bumbity bum yadda yadda bla bla bla.” Sam stopped short and glanced down at his shoes. He knew he’d gone too far.

profanity

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@#$!

Harpoon

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he’s recognizable in the earliest images of misery: a hand shoving a young gladiator before the lion; the fire devouring a witch in Salem. And here he is. Again.

John & Jackie

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By the time I learned how much I loved my family, I was 3 years and eight-hundred miles away from them

Spring Ice

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...I stared at my good dog with the same entreaty I saw in her eyes. Save us. Please.

Community Pool Advisor

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Lydia slid into the pool and rubbed lotion on the exposed areas of skin. She lathered her flipper arms. She lathered her sun-worn face. And she lathered her chest, rubbing some between her chubby breasts.

Semi Tiresias

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I knew my mother would die by the weekend