Stories tagged humor

The Great San Francisco Poetry Wars, 2

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The next day was my faculty trial, and things grew real intense around the campus of that little college. A large crowd of students began to gather around the base of the building that housed the administrative offices, where my hearing was being held. Th

Scrawls From My Blue Period

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The following was written under disagreeable circumstances, in that I was present for them.

Who Do You Say I Am

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You’ve gathered in church to wait for Jesus. Unarguable signs have let you know this is the day. This is the day of the second coming. This is Judgment Day. It was a no-brainer to wait at the church.

Poem About Never Growing Up

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You never really grow up You just put on different clothes Sure your behavior changes And you stop picking your nose

Role

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The pieces of bread dipped us humans in cheese, the cheese made by cows from our milk.

ROAD LESSONS

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"Do you have to call your brother a loser? He is not a loser and that was just uncalled for"

Freeway Deaths Attributed to Talk Radio

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"I was just coming home from work listening to Consumer Dave," said Murrietta resident Mick Baylor, through his attorney, "when my eyelids started getting droopy. And he was just talking about how Circuit City was going out of business and I was. . .well,

Eddie's Story

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Eddie's Story It's just as well I'm not attached to money, as money is not attached to me. Anonymous If Eddie had known where he was going, he never would have left where he was at. Half slumped down in the driver's seat, he was leaning a little to…

Pigeons Having Sex On An Air Conditioner In New York

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“The place is great” we told the rental agent “except for one thing “Pigeons are nesting on the air conditioner in the bedroom window “At 7 a.m. the pigeons were having sex on the air conditioner “They started getting r

A Letter to the Girl I May or May Not Have Slept With Last Night

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Can I really be blamed? Look at the circumstantial evidence: you wore that skirt, which can hardly be called a skirt. More like a very wide plaid belt.

Don't Mangle the Mongol

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Back in the Dark Ages, the Mongols invented the first hamburger pattie. They put slabs of beef under their horses' saddles and after a few miles of rough riding -- voila! a flattened piece of cow meat. They then proceeded t

Water, Water Everywhere

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It rained forty days and forty nights that month. It rained so hard that water flooded the streets.

Rice

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In her dreams she lived in a rice grain. A virus was her lover.

Just A Girl

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“You guys!!!!!!!!!!!!!” I hissed to my friends. They were busy discussing the merits of arugula salad. “What is it?” Sally asked. “It's Gwen-fucking-Stefani!!!!” “Where?” “The table behind us. DON'T look now!” Of course San

The Perils of Open Hand

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There are worse things than getting your ass kicked by a 12 year old Puerto Rican kid. This was exactly my thinking as he stood over me, his pre-pubescent screams sounding like a baby Bruce Lee, preparing to finish me off.