Stories tagged humor

Life of the Mind

14981498 views33 comments44 favs

Days went by as I stood in the woods waiting for a tree to fall, and when none did, I determined the universe is cold and indifferent and that man’s only hope is to buy wood chippers.

Responses to a writing prompt on story structure, filled out moments after learning of my girlfriend's affair

18651865 views88 comments22 favs

1. Main character: Promiscuous girlfriend. 2. Main character's goal: Wants to have a lot of sex. 3. Obstacle: Has boyfriend. 4. Character's idea of a solution to the goal: Cheats on boyfriend.

To My Children, With Apologies

989989 views22 comments00 favs

My apologies also for those crowded roads you and your families have to drive on. My generation would have built more public transportation but, in all honesty, we just didn't give a damn.

How to Make Love to a Woman

34253425 views88 comments22 favs

There's just no pleasing her.

Some Nature Haiku

13991399 views44 comments22 favs

The proud, burly tree / Rests on the now crashed TV / Thanks a lot, nature

A Facebook Love Story

18641864 views44 comments11 fav

This is a story about Jim and Robin. They are strangers. Or at least they were. They are at the same party, but standing on opposite sides of the room. Robin is standing near the door thinking, “I wish there was someone here to talk to,” when she sees Jim. …

The Monster Business

266266 views77 comments44 favs

I first realized I could fight monsters when I was six. There was a particularly nasty Class 4 that lived under my bed. It was green and scaly with veiny lumps for eyes.

We'll Always Have Paris

11531153 views33 comments11 fav

“Tonight’s news begins with a Stone’s Throw exclusive. Intimate friends of hotel heiress Paris Hilton have confided that the talent-starved celebrity has agreed to marry Quaker Bob, longtime spokesperson and package icon for Quaker Oats cereal.

Happy Holidays!

193193 views1111 comments33 favs

Bobo opened his mouth, sang, "Hark the Herald Angels sing," till I placed my hand over his tiny lips. "I hate that hymn. I hate Christmas and all those angloid things," I exclaimed, fiercely. "I want another planet real bad I want it. Stop drooling all ov

Pork Chops and Apple Sauce

16821682 views00 comments00 favs

When I went to the SPCA, I had the intention of looking for a Beagle. I had done the research and thought the breed would be a good fit for my lifestyle. I am a long distance runner and wanted some company on the long night runs. I wanted a dog that would…


14171417 views55 comments22 favs

Hooking up.

The Great San Francisco Poetry Wars, Chapter 4

9797 views00 comments00 favs

I put on my one suit to impress the landlord. I made up a story that I was a trust-funder and Allison was my newly-wed wife and we had just arrived in California to start a relaxed life of luxury and yachting. We didn’t need to work because of this stea

Don't Forget the Sun

14781478 views1010 comments55 favs

That’s when the inconspicuous-until-now janitor saunters over, glances down at their starlist and mumbles, “Don’t forget the sun,” and the astronomers all slap their foreheads and smile.

All I Want for Christmas

2222 views00 comments00 favs

Frank, it's Jesus.

Non-Stop Service

12451245 views55 comments00 favs

Please direct your attention to the flight attendants as they demonstrate the safety features of this aircraft.