Responses to a writing prompt on story structure, filled out moments after learning of my girlfriend's affair
by Ryan Mazer
1. Main character
Promiscuous girlfriend.
2. Main character's goal
Wants to have a lot of sex.
3. Obstacle
Has boyfriend.
4. Character's idea of a solution to the goal
Cheats on boyfriend.
5. How the solution goes awry
Months later, boyfriend's best friend finally confesses to affair. Boyfriend tells girlfriend they have to breakup.
6. How the main character tries to fix this problem.
She cries.
7. How this "solution" goes awry.
Boyfriend takes her back. However, she worries that he might now be prone to cheating, and decides she doesn't want to date him anymore.
Repeat steps 6 and 7 as desired.
6. How the main character tries to fix this problem.
She locks boyfriend in a cage, thus reestablishing a trust.
7. How this "solution" goes awry.
He asks if he can come out of the cage.
6. How the main character tries to fix this problem.
She cries.
7. How this "solution" goes awry.
Boyfriend agrees to stay in the cage, but his hostility frightens girlfriend.
6. How the main character tries to fix this problem.
She decides the atmosphere is unhealthy for her, so she ventures out for some sex.
7. How this "solution" goes awry.
She becomes pregnant.
6. How the main character tries to fix this problem.
She keeps her new child in the guest room, at the opposite end of the house.
7. How this "solution" goes awry.
She forgets about the child, who grows feral after years of neglect. One night, he breaks out of his room and discovers the boyfriend's cage. Enraged by the sight of this man who has stolen his mother's affection, the feral child rips open the cage and castrates the boyfriend. Somewhere, Freud smiles. The boyfriend, meanwhile, cries for several days.
6. How the main character tries to fix this problem.
No longer threatened by her boyfriend's sexual urges, she lets him stay out of the cage.
7. How this "solution" goes awry.
The feral child follows boyfriend around, and won't stop growling.
6. How the main character tries to fix this problem.
She lures the feral child into a closet. Once in, she offers to bring him food.
7. How this "solution" goes awry.
On her way to the kitchen, she notices the mailman outside and invites him in for sex, forgetting again about the feral child. She finds him dead in the closet a few weeks later.
6. How the main character tries to fix this problem.
She quickly slams the closet door shut and runs away. Later, she puts a sign on the door, marking it "The Bad Closet."
7. How this "solution" goes awry.
The closet starts to smell.
8. Reversal and Resolution: Have the main character enact a solution that helps character meet his/her original goal and makes for a happy ending.
The girl matures. She would no longer mind having sex only with her boyfriend, but he has been castrated and so she can't. She cries. Her boyfriend consoles her, telling her that he is grateful she would stay with a "castrated freak" such as him, and that he understands her need for sexual fulfillment. She smiles. She has a lot of sex. And the two live happily ever after.
Promiscuous girlfriend.
2. Main character's goal
Wants to have a lot of sex.
3. Obstacle
Has boyfriend.
4. Character's idea of a solution to the goal
Cheats on boyfriend.
5. How the solution goes awry
Months later, boyfriend's best friend finally confesses to affair. Boyfriend tells girlfriend they have to breakup.
6. How the main character tries to fix this problem.
She cries.
7. How this "solution" goes awry.
Boyfriend takes her back. However, she worries that he might now be prone to cheating, and decides she doesn't want to date him anymore.
Repeat steps 6 and 7 as desired.
6. How the main character tries to fix this problem.
She locks boyfriend in a cage, thus reestablishing a trust.
7. How this "solution" goes awry.
He asks if he can come out of the cage.
6. How the main character tries to fix this problem.
She cries.
7. How this "solution" goes awry.
Boyfriend agrees to stay in the cage, but his hostility frightens girlfriend.
6. How the main character tries to fix this problem.
She decides the atmosphere is unhealthy for her, so she ventures out for some sex.
7. How this "solution" goes awry.
She becomes pregnant.
6. How the main character tries to fix this problem.
She keeps her new child in the guest room, at the opposite end of the house.
7. How this "solution" goes awry.
She forgets about the child, who grows feral after years of neglect. One night, he breaks out of his room and discovers the boyfriend's cage. Enraged by the sight of this man who has stolen his mother's affection, the feral child rips open the cage and castrates the boyfriend. Somewhere, Freud smiles. The boyfriend, meanwhile, cries for several days.
6. How the main character tries to fix this problem.
No longer threatened by her boyfriend's sexual urges, she lets him stay out of the cage.
7. How this "solution" goes awry.
The feral child follows boyfriend around, and won't stop growling.
6. How the main character tries to fix this problem.
She lures the feral child into a closet. Once in, she offers to bring him food.
7. How this "solution" goes awry.
On her way to the kitchen, she notices the mailman outside and invites him in for sex, forgetting again about the feral child. She finds him dead in the closet a few weeks later.
6. How the main character tries to fix this problem.
She quickly slams the closet door shut and runs away. Later, she puts a sign on the door, marking it "The Bad Closet."
7. How this "solution" goes awry.
The closet starts to smell.
8. Reversal and Resolution: Have the main character enact a solution that helps character meet his/her original goal and makes for a happy ending.
The girl matures. She would no longer mind having sex only with her boyfriend, but he has been castrated and so she can't. She cries. Her boyfriend consoles her, telling her that he is grateful she would stay with a "castrated freak" such as him, and that he understands her need for sexual fulfillment. She smiles. She has a lot of sex. And the two live happily ever after.
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Author's Note
Piece that becomes progressively more ridiculous with each entry. It was previously published at Opium Magazine. My hope is that most of the humor, if there is any at all, comes from the obvious emotional state--the bitterness--of the "character" responding to the prompt.
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I like this; obviously it's going to appeal to me in large part because it's so set up as a natural for hypertext with the different actions and reactions. But I like the story here, the way it takes its turns based on a major conflict between the characters. I like the expanse of the imagination; the "She forgets about the child, who grows feral after years of neglect."
Nice job.
Very funny..and tragic. It is the age old dilemma once again played out on the stage. No one ever learns a thing. Mistakes are grown brand new like endless fields of bright red popppies, but with a good sense of humor we may if we're lucky once again gain forward momentum. Had fun. Thanks.
Excellently comic, demented, and a happy ending to boot!
"6. How the main character tries to fix this problem.
She cries."
Classic.
The "Bad Closet" reference evoked the scene in LA Confidential where Crowe finds the dead body in the locked room.
This story or sequence or whatever-ta-call-it surprises: I thought it would go one way, into a kind of interesting but stereotypical romantic situation, and it went a whole other way, to Kafka and Freud. Star.
crying is the universal aphorism for apology, redemption & rapture -- it's unsettling, and here's it's funny. For a male to cry: what it does for him, how it changes the dynamic . . . c.f. Synecdoche NY. like it.
Thanks so much for all the kind words, everyone!
Number 7
7. How this "solution" goes awry.
On her way to the kitchen, she notices the mailman outside and invites him in for sex, forgetting again about the feral child. She finds him dead in the closet a few weeks later.
I love stories like this. Very Nice.