How to Make Love to a Woman

by Mary Szmagaj

I cut myself shaving and suddenly see the solution to her 
complaints that my stubble chafes when I kiss her.  I carefully 
remove all the skin from just under my cheekbones down to the 
base of my throat, leaving my ears and nose intact.  I am 
pleased with the results.  Not having to shave will save me a 
lot of time in the morning.

The next time we kiss, she tells me she misses the feel of 
my lips.  Teeth and muscle and jutting mandibles are not very 
appetizing, she says.

There's just no pleasing her.