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The Adventures of Tequila Kitty: Chapter 3 - by Brian Lepire

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I’d made it to the motel parking lot when I heard the footsteps. A sombrero may make me look good, but it does shit for my hearing, so the bastards were able to scoop me up real quick. The first one gave me a hard slap on the top of the head with an opene

In Tongues

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Even as I moveTowards some form of true reprieve I can't make head nor tail of you Except when you speak in tongues In the dark progressive hills In the fields that freedom chills In the house Democracy built You will find a hint of guilt …

Mirrors.

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Pass frame.Avert eyes.If Ido look,I'm stillnot there.

Nesting Code

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scratches

Intractable

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~ ! ~

The Old Man and the Shark

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The shark’s voice was dark, warm and scratchy, like dying embers.

Can Bone-Munching Zombie Worms Help Fight Childhood Obesity?

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President Kennedy’s national physical fitness program tried to reverse the incoming tide of obesity, but for many it was too late.

For the Woman Who Has a Hundred

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“What would you get? What should you give a lady who’s one hundred for her birthday?”

Poetry, Inc.

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It comes to our attention you have what it takes to join our enterprise.

Autumn

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Early morning cokeBottle. Did Katie callHeiddegger "Skippy"?Remember years backWhen we studied so hard andHa ha, just kidding.As you age, neverForget you are dying noFaster than before.

The Executioner

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No one knows where the wind comes from, but sure as hell it comes. The executioner glances round the reception area. Nods to himself. Function versus form. Anodyne, instantly forgettable, like hotel rooms. Perfect.

Tea Time

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But I sense a tremor in your soul as well, young friend, a yearning of some sorts.

Small Man

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When Reg Cuff heard that Sandlewick's abandoned Tiny Town model village was up for sale, he sold his home and failing business and moved right in.

First Lesson (Mother Tongue Series)

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I used to see kids at the mall with those extendable "kid leashes". Like the ones made for chihuahuas. Like the ones made to squash a good story, you know...

Up

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See if you can come up with the pattern. There is very little run-up to the theme. I am not making this up...

THE ORCHID

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The orchid trembled on its long stem

Did you ever kill someone?

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Well, yeah but no one that wasn't pointing a gun at me, mostly. I shot at a lot of people but there were only three times when I can honestly say I know that I blew someone away.

Shadowland

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His touch, even now, seemed to set off tremors inside her.

My Neighbor in the Apartment Across the Hall

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She's an obese woman whose clothes don't fit: shirts that ride up too high her belly hanging out her pants suctioned to her strangely pegged legs. Her ballooned cheeks are always chapped pink her lips little slivers peeled back over small beige teeth like…

show the soul its own beauty

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Go ahead, show the soul its own beauty. But also tell me again about my own, so I may know I lived, and loved you. The one who shows the soul its own touching beauty gets to keep her. Who shows her the golden nightly song that's given us life, is like t

Exoskeleton

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Watching himself dissolve comes with no sense of meaning. It is simply what it is. He finds that curious.

The Spaceman and the Venusian Vampire Vixens

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It’s late July, and I’ve just been given the assignment to cover Paganfoil’s ‘Warbird’ tour. To tell you the truth, I really loathe this assignment. I never, ever, EVER cared for hard rock or heavy metal or whatever they’re calling it this dec

D.X. (Flag Day Challenge)

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Today is my birthday. Well, my assembly date, anyway.

Shaken But Not Stirred

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It happened right after I had taken my Uzi to work, retrieved it from my Brooks Brothers briefcase, and fired it upon my desk and its assorted discontents, their paper lives bunched together by clips and notary stamps of approval, now set flying and free. I then walked into…

Dear Poetry Editor,

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I like to think of my poetry as fungus, sprouting out of the dank and fertile soil of my imagination.

I A Dog

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I am a dog – four legs, a tail, a carefree enough manner, I do this, I do that, get into fights, sniff the ground and so on

And You--And You--And You

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“Good to see you, old man,” Greg said. He was like that, an investment banker, a latter-day Tom Buchanan without the polo ponies, self-consciously fusty.

toupee

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It wasn't until about 2:30 that my hairpiece began mauling small children.

again that summer

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And there was Kathi R in the summer of 1969. She was from Wheaton. We had tons of unprotected sex that summer. She was short, almost no breasts, but man, she could reach down behind me somehow and grab my balls at precisely the right moment, and bam, ba

The Man That Wasn't Hers

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"I am lying on my back and am confused."