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“I’ve read your blog recently,” my friend told me over waffles and cold potato salad at 10PM, “and something strange is going on in there.”
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176831
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If girls have keys for fingers then locks cannot hold them.
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138932
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Everyman: I quit, remember? I’m in a twelve step program now.
Alcohol: Oh sweetie, that’s too bad, we had some great times together.
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133252
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This year, instead of giving roses or candy for Valentine's Day, why not give something your spouse will never forget.
A brand new divorce!
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156741
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The most unoriginal, trite and hackneyed story ever written!
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198941
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“He spent four lonely days in a brown L.A. haze, and now Jimmy Buffet is dead.” —Brian Williams, NBC Nightly News “Jimmy Buffet—beloved parrot-head singer-songwriter—has given up his search for that lost shaker of salt. He…
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Chills begin on my hand where his cool lips meet my skin and ripple through me. I try to focus on the road and cock my eyebrow. “Not bad for a 15-year-old.”
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142442
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So we stayed on the train admiring the time.
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137311
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Sometimes you wait by the mailbox and he doesn't come. It doesn't come, the letter, the talisman from another world you've been waiting for, and you give up. You finally open…
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122832
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- I wish I were taller. - You also wish I never die.- What´s your point?- Santa Claus must really hate you.------ What´s the most ridiculous thing someone´s ever asked you?- Please never die. - But you promised!------ I just want to go to sleep, I´m…
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151422
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He sits in the best chair and it collapses so he unfolds himself up like a mechanical shadow and sits in the second best chair.
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198981
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In late summer 2000 Dick Cheney held a secret strategy meeting in a hunting lodge deep in the hills of southeastern Wyoming. It was Cheney's own place, bought with the money he'd ripped from the trough with both hands through decades of what…
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177742
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He had thought of the walk down to Mrs Greensmith’s shop when he and all the men beside him reckoned they’d “had it” that time when II SS Panzer-Division had fought like gods for Hill 212.
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In the summer of 1963 I went to Philadelphia to study with a member of the Philadelphia Orchestra.
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220113
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While I didn’t like to see Courtney swat smokes out of his mouth and admonish him, saying “Cigarettes. Bad. Fire. Bad,” her home was such a beautiful place, with its real wood and two TV and all...
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186411
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Seventeen-year cicadas are the sometimes-singers that surprise spring with the ugliest mouths of all.
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219742
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But I am delighted to inform you that through our computer added softwareness, YOU have to been chosen as our Nigerian contact for the transfer of fundage used to research global warming. How ‘bout them apples?
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204842
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All right, so the frog I risked my lips on (not to mention the contents of my stomach) . . . .
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115832
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162580
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"I found a dead bunny one morning. This was about three weeks ago. Its tiny round pom-pom of a tail was missing."
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145932
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Why not just self-publish on Fictionaut and be read by thousands of my peers? Why not release my cherished work directly to my thousands of Facebook or Twitter or blog friends? Can the budding writer that I am realistically expect a larger audience?
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130532
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I knew there was something wrong with the sunset when I woke up.
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150142
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i saw a sign and it read A PERSON THAT IS MEAN TO THE WAITER IS A MEAN PERSON i thought of you with your high cheekbones, the sense of entitlement unparalleled, the superiority complex that hid much you had a gig and it had probably…
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144122
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Robbie’s wrists itched hard, the cord was sunk in so tight his hands were bordering now on blue, now purple. Too late to matter.
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99661
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Every morning there’s the breast
and the nipples of ecstasy
It is not the spider’s fault
that it is mesmerized by the web
Blame nature, blame God
Doesn’t the alley cat
automatically know how to howl?
Don’t blame me
if I am addicted t
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162431
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What follows is one of those moments, though to some people, it would seem a fantasy, perhaps a "Wizard of Oz" era tale.
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149032
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Where were you the night Katrina destroyed New Orleans? Oh, what a night... A week later, most of the city was still underwater, with hundreds or thousands of folks presumed dead, and tens of thousands…
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I'd have gone even if I got F's for the entire two weeks. The homeless would have homes, the sick, medicine; the hungry would eat. They could not wait for the generosity of Kurban Bayramı. Now was the hour of relief. The children's eyes. Lambs whose bl
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146831
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I awake to find a heavy chain shackled around my ankle. I try to remove it but cannot. The length of the chain runs through my apartment, sometimes coiling around itself, but eventually leading out my front door.
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95061
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When collapse is a wave that curls the floor under itself I give myself to it
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