Most recent stories

My Date With Satan

1192211922 views1414 comments1515 favs

My date with Satan commenced at the Sanrio store by Union Square where we went to browse through two stories of miniature Japanese school supplies and grooming accessories.

The Art of Removing a Wedding Band

24792479 views55 comments22 favs

If I was going to liberate myself from my marriage to Rosie, the first step ought to be to liberate myself from my wedding band. That wasn't going to be easy. Along with the more prominent rolls of fat I'd been accumulating, my ring finger now bulged over the upper…

Gold Digger

16211621 views11 comment00 favs

Sophie hoped that Ryan would just stay in the bathroom and never come out. Her stomach turned just thinking about him, but wealthy nerds were easier to work than wealthy regular guys. No self-esteem, no experience with women…no problem.

Tabula Rasa

13431343 views44 comments11 fav

When I was younger, I tried very hard to be myself, but it never worked. I'd close my eyes, wait a beat, open them and slowly bring them into focus. This is the new me, the only me. Never worked, not once. It could only last a minute or two, so I…

White girl/boy angst

15601560 views33 comments11 fav

I’m secretly hoping for a huge bouquet, a fruit basket, a pickle jar of urine in a lunch bag on my doorstep, even.

Sissyneck

29882988 views1414 comments33 favs

He pounds the roof of the Pontiac with the side of his fist and it rumbles like a timpani. He raises his head to light and wipes the sweat from his forehead. There's no sense in fighting it. He will go back and knock on Peter's door.

See?

13351335 views00 comments00 favs

look at the shape here / is it not pleasing to the eye?

Hoss Men (continued)

18251825 views66 comments44 favs

"Fax the Beaver" was its last, secret title. The beaver is a dirty trick, and it belongs on the index card.

Annals of the Naked Rowdies #22

17001700 views33 comments00 favs

As they left, Roddy kicked over a statue of a blindfold and half-naked goddess of justice. "I piss on you Justice!" he yelled. The bailiff pushed him out the door as he continued his rant, inaudible.

Cheese (train writings)

16531653 views88 comments44 favs

"This tastes like goat cheese," I said.

Frederick (from Unsaid literary journal)

15741574 views66 comments33 favs

It started like this: just him saying, "Nice to meet you, Marie," and me, while I just said his own name back to him, at the same time thinking, "I want you to take me to a hotel room someday, Frederick. I think I’ll like the way you’d make me feel...

Minnows

32543254 views1111 comments1212 favs

I combed the ocean for my minnows while Hattie's giraffes multiplied like spider plants, all yellow and brown on the dry yellow savanna, propelled by their gauche necks, awkward in their bodies, bodies rooted to the feet of the humming planet.

MindLight

17881788 views11 comment11 fav

{Chapter iv of Undermind} "What do you think of the light in our city at night?" It spreads out in every direction, following the hills and valleys of the city, visible into the far distance from the Penthouse party room on the 44th floor. "Gorgeous!…

Following Questions

18601860 views44 comments11 fav

4. If the property line is a symbol, what about the neighbor girl's window, the flickering candle in her room, her black cotton panties?

Hoss Men (divided)

13281328 views66 comments44 favs

Agents I have little idea. Woiwode partly supported his family in the 60s by publishing in The NYer (his friends were De Niro and Barthelme) so perhaps there was little trouble in his finding one. E.W. met his at a bar. He publishes in Paris and Texas.

Snap, Crackle & Pop!

11571157 views00 comments00 favs

snap

Never Said

13511351 views00 comments00 favs

We're at the Park Diner. My dad Tommie is sitting across from me. He looks haggard, tired. His skin is pasty and washed-out. He's not talking, so I'm not talking either, but it doesn't matter because it's hanging there between us.Cancer.Motherfucker.“Don't look so…

Annals of the Naked Rowdies #13

14351435 views33 comments11 fav

It worked for a short time and their next album, "The Hirsute Agenda" became an underdog success.

Tangenital

16471647 views11 comment11 fav

I don’t personally know any models—let alone any supermodels—at this point in my life but some years back my father, who was working for the Woolite Corporation, was in charge of hiring models for them.

Lenin's Paintings

23242324 views22 comments00 favs

I was going through Lenin's jewelry and his paintings with a team of experts. I got the idea that I was hired to verify his paintings, although I didn't know he painted.

Red Left Hand

20212021 views55 comments33 favs

"I see a child's bicycle swarmed by bees. A stolen oil painting of a helicopter...no, no, that ain't it. Wait. A high school basketball coach will hang himself from a bridge you often think about. This man, now, he's a Navajo Indian.

Hunting CHUD (for the April Fools Day challenge)

16281628 views22 comments00 favs

CHUD were everywhere.

Annals of the Naked Rowdies #78

16971697 views33 comments22 favs

A true Rowdies fan begins every conversation about the band with a legend. She would be impressed if he knew the story.

Right Now

17531753 views33 comments22 favs

I want to talk like Rose Tyler, and be whisked away by the strapping Docor, preferably in David Tennant form.

Wipe Your Feet at the Door of Sex

29732973 views44 comments33 favs

Jackson ran his sweaty hands over his vintage cowboy shirt hoping testosterone would iron it.

Estranged

19751975 views1010 comments66 favs

He kind of enjoyed living by himself. It was nice and peaceful.

Don't Rub Me Out Now

30743074 views3434 comments1717 favs

Don’t rub me out now, not tonight. Or if you do, do it right.

A Locked Door.

17281728 views22 comments11 fav

I look at that wall, it has piss-stain yellow paint and water scars from several years of leaky pipes. I say I wouldn’t mind that, if he took out some of that wall.

Gods Sense of Humor (April Fools Challenge)

18531853 views1010 comments11 fav

I wonder, God. Do you sit around and play with the universe like it was your Wii? Or your Farmville? Or maybe your little iphone app? I mean, really. Did it ever occur to you that the little men, women and children on your screen actually bleed? Do you think…

Apocalyptica

12371237 views22 comments11 fav

Apocalyptica 1. the portent holds you while you try for solace in the bath anticipating the opened mouth the one that cannot close after and there is a knotting inside of joints and threads poised so delicately in the waiting …