Why Dogs are Men and Cats are Women
Dogs will hump anything
Cats do not hump
To obtain a dog's affection, you must feed it
To obtain a cat's affection, you must avoid it
Once a dog gets into a bad habit, you buy a shock collar
Once a cat gets into a bad habit, you buy new drapes
When the dog's unhappy, it whines for attention
When the cat's unhappy, ain't nobody happy
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Author's Note
I've always had this idea that dogs are male and cats are female. I don't know why. When we got a female dog, it confused me for about six weeks. I wrote this little list a while back and have been adding to it and subtracting from it for years. Then I rewrote it from the perspective of a horny, spurned husband, and it became much funnier.
Other stories by John Woodington
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Star. If for no other reason for the last line alone. Ain't it the truth!
Thanks, Jack.
Much appreesh.
John, funny piece. Reminds me of a piece i saw about if a computer is male or female and arguments for each side. gotta find it.
This is funny, and at least some of it strikes me as true . . . about actual dogs and cats, I mean. The last line is good. And it made me think also of a book of cartoons about cats that is titled "Everything Here is Mine."
Thanks, Stephanie.
Love me some lists, and this is a good one.
Thanks, Sheldon.