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KOSHER PORN is a new collection of funny pick-up lines just for Jews, written by humorist Sarah Rosen, and illustrated with photos by Tom Stokes. It's based on Rosen's popular dating blog, Porn4Jews. And it's hilarious. Rosen started her blog after a year and a…
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This story* is brought to you by
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This liberated you/
to grind me hard/
on the dance floor
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When Elvis died, I felt so empty that I headed straight for Jimmy Choo's, but quietly, with the half-veil of my pillbox hat draped low over my face. I didn't want to draw attention to my vintage Dior mourning outfit, since I normally wear pants, even here. The voices…
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When the writer expressed with subtle alacrity that he adored the painter, she was flattered and didn't raise objection. The writer-in his aloof manner, with experienced caution-pointedly wrote a poem directly for his muse. She never spoke of it, and hi
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Funny, funny stuff. She'll be here all week--be sure and tip your speech therapist!
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You're a good dog, she whispered to him, a good brave dog. Her face was tight with soap.
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Things don't always go to plan. Gem knew what people would have said back then, of course. She wasn't stupid.
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People suck. They suck you down, and if you're not careful, they'll ruin you.
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President Kennedy’s national physical fitness program tried to reverse the incoming tide of obesity, but for many it was too late.
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Hissing through the opening, the spirits have no place.
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You gather their faces in the palms of your hands and their purple eyes blink, blink, unseeing.
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I was at the doctor's office, having my blood drawn. I was talking to the medical assistant. She was tying off my arm to tap my vein. She was almost 8 months pregnant with a girl, though her belly stuck out straight in front of her enough to be told she was having a boy.…
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1. Walking here
with you
on these narrow
strands
of clean air
& imagination
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In my dreams, I watch a sand shark sleep / on a coral bed
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We can’t be sure. Perhaps it is/
some slight exaggeration of one/
or several elements that steals our breath.
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In sleep their bodies drift between the sheets until they find each other.
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papaya over-ripe displayed on the half
with spoons sticking out -
” very ripe, tastes good “
blue crabs cooked with lavender
i was sniffing a spoonful when the chef came out
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He returned to America on the Fourth of July. Twisting in his cramped window seat miles above the Atlantic, he buckled up before the descent. “You can handle this,” he muttered. Hungover, still reeling from the dreamy head-turning experience of…
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The tiger-eye beads around her neck would wink at me like a nervous uncle sharing a secret with a child. They roll on her sternum like marbles. At night, on her nightstand, they whisper my secret to the patchouli-scented room. How long have they known?
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He laughed – pictures traveled across his mind of bodies and mouths and the sex and the liquor, he could taste the flesh and the alcohol right then, strong, immediate.
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He keeps saying it,
babbles the term like he knows what it means
and we wince and interject with mama,
mama,
mama,
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This morning as I stepped out of the shower I was hit with a panicked fit in which it became urgent that I rid my flesh of each drop of water that burdened it. Not quite like the feeling of being…
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Downton Abbey and The Beverly Hillbillies. They're practically the same show.
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My wife tells me/your dog has vomited/
on the carpet AGAIN!
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I was headed back inside my den since these creeps just wouldn’t stop and thought they were the most hilarious creatures on the face of the earth, and I was afraid, to be honest, that one of their missiles might hit me in the eye. That’s when I n
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I fondly remember those warm, weekend evenings at twilight on the beach. After the frolic of the waves flattened, sending the surfers home and, after the last bait was spent, sending the surfcasters away, I'd set up the little, foldable, 3‘x4', rectangular stage I always…
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Ellen arrived on the beach when it was still too dark to see the ground; the fine shells and small, sharp rocks hurt her feet, but she went ahead until her toes felt the edge…
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He was a liability. I knew I had to ditch him.
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