by Jake Barnes
After work he would come home to his den, his hideaway. He would fix himself a drink, usually bourbon and ice, a dash of Angostura, a cherry. He would sit on his couch and think about things, the state of the world, his love life past and present.
On weekends Mona was there. He would pick her up at the State College, drive her back down the Peninsula to where he lived. They would go out or sit around and watch TV. Sometimes she would take off her clothes and he would take photographs of her. Once he took shots of her in the bathtub having a bubble bath. He told her that the cheeks of her ass sticking up out of the foam looked like little white whales. Or maybe he didn't tell her that; the comparison wasn't very flattering. But that's what they looked like. Round and plump.
He liked to take pictures of her, and she liked to pose. It made her horny, she said. He made some videos of her, as well; she had a starring role.
He remembered the day she left. He was supposed to be at her parents' house for Christmas dinner, but he got drunk and passed out spread-eagled on his bed. She burst through the door and screamed at him. She threw her keys at him and left. He never saw her again.
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99% truth, 1% poetry
I bet she found someone else.*
There are expectations.
I've lost many a good woman to alcohol. Four of them have birthdays this week and they are pouring it on in concert.
Careful of those photos. I've lost a lot of great travel and concert pictures in the rage.
Reality is tough.
Especially like the flung keys to end. Good writing.
I've missed your stories, Jake! Very good writing.
Good writing Jake. Enjoyed this.
I admire your restraint.
Chilling. I'll need to read this again and again.*
Thank you, my friends. I'm glad you like the story. A confession. A tale of woe. Life in the fast lane recalled by someone who is old and slow.
The narrative distance and regret comes through loud and clear. She's exposed, he's exposed. That drink sounds good. *
I really admire the timing in this exchange in paragraph two: He told her that . . . Or maybe he didn't tell her that . . .
The Micro editor is really getting three stories with DIRTY MOVIES -- paragraphs two and four read well as separate stories with beginnings, middles and ends.
Wish I'd written your story!