Employee Review

by Stacie Adams

"Well Stacie, you scare some of the other girls. Some of the men as well. You clomp down the hall like a demon Clydesdale straight from the gates of hell. Your default facial expression can be best described as a grimace. You have a way of looking at people that makes them question their belief in an afterlife. A lot of the older women mutter and throw salt over their shoulder when you walk by. We had to buy everyone personal space heaters due to the chill that follows you wherever you go. We're thinking of hiring a priest to hover over your workstation just in case. Other than that, you're doing great!"