Most discussed stories

THE PREVIOUS ADVENTURES OF POPEYE THE SAILOR

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It's an easy thing to take out an eye.

The Hangman's Poor Gift

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of placing the rope just so; of settling the veil with care --

Take You Me for a Sponge, My Lord?

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Who does that besides Kafka, Arreola, and Steven Wright?

Unconscious Primate Pandemic Panic

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I wrap my left foot

black tulips

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the memories return like they do every year at this time

The Shopkeeper

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His eyes are closed yet restless, as if too many thoughts loop beneath the lids.

Marie Antoinette's Angel Food Cake Recipe

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honey/she said/with a wink/and a twinkle

Depression

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I am one of 14.8 million Americans affected by depression or about 6.7% of the American population 16 and older. My episodes are cyclical and my first episode was at age 16. I assumed it was because my mother was sent to Auschwitz at 16 …

Lying to the Boss

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I was having festive sex flashbacks and wasn't thinking sharply.

Tran Siberian

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She was an easily lit, wide hipped, Stoli-drinking, schemer from Irkutsk that got her claws into an American riding the Iron Rooster from Khabarovsk to Moscow.

Processes

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How to Boil Water How to Cook an Egg How to Eat How to Think How to Love How to Die

Time Melts and Means Nothing

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I think we love sex because it brings us so close to the heat of creation that we can see the smoldering flames and the light rising from twigs being rubbed together between the legs. Okay – your turn!

Love Stories

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I've got an appointment to see my shrink next Wednesday. She's pretty sharp. Not bad looking, either.

Ghost writing

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'This dude’s whole life must be in this book. It’s like, a man diary.' The thought makes her laugh.

May the Glad Inherit

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All creatures know death at their very core, a tacit default--

Sure Thing

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If you ask me I'm thinking I'm just blowing off some steam, some hot air that doesn't add up to the old cliche of a hill of beans. A hill of fucking beans.

staircase

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i miss you/ at times unbearably/ a dull ache that won’t quit

My Anonymous Career

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I signed on with a large national restaurant chain to write descriptors for menus, and I was the very first to use the term "farm-fresh" to refer to eggs.

Inmate Words

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in White Heat there’s a character who reads lips using a mirror to see the mouths of prisoners in other cells that’s how I feel when I talk with you

Piggy Bank

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we had a million pennies

Two Weeks in a Dristan Land

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I smelled the bleach of burst anemones the sweet arousal of the Dungeness crabs the seaweed of sour twigs and feces

Labor Policy

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The City Council supports this policy and, by necessity, ranks human slavery very low on the list of the city’s woes.

My Church

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My ChurchThe white dressThe bridesmaidsThe friends, the familySadnessMy church knewno music

Dream State

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forced to submit/ to reasonableness// and universal healthcare.

Seasonal Affective Disorder

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A man of action would take to his rake/ but Sloth would rather watch and wait/ for snow to erase each leaf on leaf.

Procedural

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Val walks through the world, absorbed in the day to day. A plainspoken narrator drones on in his mind. The nondescript voice marks time to the beat of Val's banal footfall, hums along with the whir of Val's modest, midsize sedan. The narration is loudest in the twilight…

Bubbles

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It’s about 4:30 when the phone rings. I look at the display and see it’s home. “Hey,” I say picking up. “I hate you,” says Jules. “I hate, you, too,” I say. My co-workers don’t even blink. They’ve heard this before.

Dragon Lady

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What happened later that evening is unclear. When Mickey got back to his quarters, he was in good spirits. Buoyant even.

Donnie's end

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I pointed, trying to keep a rising frisson of alarm from my voice.

Lunch at Luigi's

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Identification both ways was BooBoo, case sensitive.