430 15 6
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Effie spit a cherry pit into the sink and turned toward the kitchen table where I sat. The arched eyebrow matched her tone. “Let me get this straight. You’re thinking about quitting your job because you want to search for an invisible rabbit?”
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350785
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For starters, someone must be dead. That’s the golden rule to remember here. And if that someone is mom, you’ve got a hit on your hands.
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117470
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A foolish rich man liked to pretend he had died
To see who in the audience would be dry-eyed
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1108168
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Their specialty is the roasted Australian hare, long ears intact, arranged on a bed of sassafras.
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80114
|
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1071915
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i found bison, ostrich and deer on my plate tonight.
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97911
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When people talk about the end moments when one's life flashes before his or her eyes, they often refer to time as slowing down. I can attest to this phenomenon during my final moments, before the collision: the song playing on the radio, the squeal of tires and flash of…
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35755
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You wanted the coonskin cap that had a scraggly but real raccoon tail, but you were secretly a little creeped out by it at the same time and slightly relieved when your mom said no. Instead, you ended up at the bin of grab bags.
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8472
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Dear God,Thank you for all of the amazing people you have given me in my life; except for the one, who I'm sure was just a clerical error or something, and whom You are welcome to take back at Your earliest convenience.Yours truly, with utmost Sincerity.PS I am trying…
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112900
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In desperation, the city council imported a shaman to exorcise whatever demons had possessed the house.
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105972
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Can't cope.
Got no hope.
Got no dope.
Call the Pope.
Get the rope.
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14821711
|
I fired God today. He wasn't showing up for work, slept through meetings, wrote ambiguous memos and killed too many innocents. Things just weren't working out.
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150294
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I walk into the fruit and vegetable market and she sees me right away. I've been trying to avoid her and have been successful for more than three weeks. The break-up was not a good one. I still have a scar over my left eye where the glass ashtray hit me.
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100712
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...Truth is, it’s because of fabulously wealthy men and women like myself who long ago sucked all the cream out of the bottle, and now we’re coming back for whatever milk remains.
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1003103
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I am confused by your new paper-doll look, btw. Could you please look regular again by Thursday?
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