Stories tagged humor

Cobbler's Clinch

805805 views11 comment00 favs

“If Sir would observe, the storm welt, a shoe for the big occasion, a shoe that will guide sir through the dismal passages, a shoe that will roar in the face of adversity and …”

"Saints, Angels, Bleach, Prayers" (2008)

164164 views00 comments00 favs

Shanti disappeared behind the beaded Jesus curtain that acted as her kitchen doow and returned with a bottle of Clorox. “Take this,” she said. “Use the whole bottle. And come by tomorrow morning. I’ve got a bunch of new stuff from the twenties

May You Never Be Happy Again

182182 views00 comments00 favs

“Everybody’s seen Tom Waits,” Chris said. “Everybody. His son’s a real asshole. I can’t remember his name, so let’s call him Fred. My friend saw Fred walking with his Dad, in Orinda or somewhere, and was like, fuck you Fred! And fuck yo

Text Adventure

10401040 views55 comments33 favs

Twenty-two tornadoes tore through Toronto, spiraling steel and stone to the streets where she stood, texting her best friend.

Genius

752752 views00 comments00 favs

Everything I write is gold, he mused. My words spill onto the page like ambrosia, nectar of the gods, filling an empty vessel with immortal life.

Small Man

802802 views22 comments11 fav

When Reg Cuff heard that Sandlewick's abandoned Tiny Town model village was up for sale, he sold his home and failing business and moved right in.

Flush

10201020 views1010 comments44 favs

"Nice one, sir," the toilet said.

Dr. Doom

18441844 views4141 comments2323 favs

I passed out one night while I was standing at the sink brushing my teeth.

Sono Canadese (I am from Canada)

202202 views88 comments22 favs

He spoke passable French, and had charmed local femmes. But it was a different story when he crossed the border into Italy, and landed in Rapallo.

Love Rusts

10941094 views55 comments44 favs

Their love was doomed at the onset, yet they engaged in it anyway, heedless of the numerous error messages and critical runtime failures. Abort, Retry, Fail? They selected Retry over and over.

Dry Tuna

891891 views11 comment00 favs

"If you don't like it then leave!" Sally screamed.

Best Place To Eat in Town

906906 views1010 comments33 favs

Often I eat lunch at the hospital. The cafeteria may be the best place to eat in town.

A Country of Husbands

12331233 views1010 comments77 favs

The first husband was young and lovely. He had a little nose and long fingers he used for things like planting begonias in my clay pot. I did not do flowers. So that was nice.

Claudine

12001200 views2020 comments66 favs

She lifts her head, nose heavenward. There’s a wet spot on my dress from our lovemaking, its aroma as heady as Claudine’s bouillabaisse. I hope she smells it.

Too Fast to be Fat

10191019 views22 comments00 favs

As it turns out, hypertravel is surprisingly slimming.