1327 1 0
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[He] practiced aromatherapy and licentiousness, in no particular order.
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103820
|
A rock group named Stuck Gas Pedal. Another named Tweezer. A group of young punk-rockers wearing neckerchiefs named Mein Kampfire. But wait, there’s more.
A song called “We Were Being Facetious,” co-written by them all.
Lost Flyswatter. That
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8400
|
The Outlaw was tired. Tired and sore. During his short life on God’s great planet, mostly in the last ten years, he had raped thousands of women. Possibly even tens of thousands. He had killed at least as many men, most likely more. Each one of them tur
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1500
|
“Economic Stress in the U.S. is Easing More Slowly”
brought to you straight from the office of Mumbo Jumbo
in Wash D.C. (as in Wash your Dirty Closet)
All day long the junior interns sit around their
squeaky clean, orderly desks
thinking
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155410
|
That stupid bastard seemed to defy death at every turn in his life. His actions suggested invincibility, but his catch phrase indicated full awareness that he was indeed quite vincible.
And how fitting was his name. We didn’t know if it
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126200
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I took up smoking just to show the world how easy it was to quit. It’s been five months now, and my wife is wondering why I haven’t yet.
|
8200
|
I was fired today for fucking my boss’s secretary during my lunch break. Those were his words. I would never use such a harsh phrase to describe such an intimate moment. He called me into his office in the afternoon—after he had caught us and given me
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107000
|
I went out behind Parker's house and saw Darrell's tent set up in the grass. The flaps of the pup tent were open. I could see him through the mosquito netting. He had a Coleman lamp burning and lay on his back in his underwear on top of his sleeping bag.
|
160700
|
His hands were like that when he was born. No one really understood why. Neither of his parents had any body parts made of oats. Neither of them had even eaten any oats the morning the conception took place. But sure enough, when Edwin MacGrain was born o
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176300
|
The funeral was a blast. One helluva time. We all had the time of our lives. Well, all of us except Dominic. It pissed me off that Dominic didn’t have fun. After all, he was the center of attention. The whole day was about him, and we spared no expense
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4500
|
Robin is sick of being a sidekick.
"I am just sick of it," he says.
He is standing in front of a head shop. The manager is high, aroma leaking from his tee-shirt. He isn't sure if Robin is part of his trip or not, but he isn't going to
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86030
|
I would like to invite the public to an open-air,
environmental art piece called Hot Weather.
The exhibition will take place this summer. It will
not begin until the temperature reaches 90 degrees.
This demonstration is available free of charge
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430498
|
Samuel wondered if Megan could hear the brains humming, but like so many of the questions Samuel had for Megan, it was difficult to find the right moment to ask.
|
123462
|
Living lower on the hog than anticipated
lower on the hog than previously expected
lower on the hog than desired
Living on the underside of the hog belly
pretty much bouncing on the ground
beneath the aforementioned hog belly
Living clos
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6562
|
The girl started with jell-o shots, followed by hard shots, followed by beer chasers, followed by too much of the brand of whiskey her father liked, followed by blood poisoning.
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