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“Shweetheart, my childhood was like a candlelit dinner for two at Chuck E. Cheese’s—great promise surrounded by absurdity.”
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INGREDIENTS
--A messy divorce.
--A late spring night in Boston.
DIRECTIONS
1. First, let's agree to call them "Pahkah House Rolls," for the Pahkah House is a luxury Boston hotel. (We'll be returning to New York on the morning train.)
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15152419
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Now when she speaks to him, he no longer responds with an interrogative but rather a cheery, "You're absolutely right, dear" or "I'll get right on it," or "What a great idea!"
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"Mark, please talk normal. That earnest tone in your voice sounds stupid and self-important."
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Man, you never ceased to crack me up! If you thought you'd just been called a homo, you probably wouldn't want to try to disprove it by grabbing hold of a naked guy and wrestling him to the floor of a shower room.
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He was ready for the rub. Tense. She could always tell. The legs, the shuffles. He had to be frantic before he would come to her, his own wife. Vanity, fright. She could read him like a book open on the table, turn his pages the way a fish flakes. "It's comfort night,…
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1352178
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"Your mother does sailors," the parrot screeched.
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114100
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oh, sure i’m still running around like a heads-up/off/prophet/profit/fit trying to cut off my very own de/(con)instruction and all other sordid a•void•able & available/a-Babel towers of post &toastmodern doom/daze
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152911
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Jonas Griffin stared out the bay window as he drank his morning cup, his eyes gleaming with something between wistfulness and disdain at Reynold who sat patiently in the adjacent yard, leaning against the majestic oak tree that towered in its hundred year
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119422
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No one is a Puritan under all that powder!
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126721
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Everybody knew it would happen. It didn’t happen exactly when or how they thought it would, but nonetheless it happened.
“I told you it would happen,” a bearded man told his wife.
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148300
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When the scrapbook came out this time, I noticed a photo I hadn't seen before, the Baroness with her arm around the waist of Princess Diana. A lavish display of blooms towered behind them.
"Did you know her?" the florist asked.
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fun fact: a doll's legs will twitch
while being scalped
but only for just a little bit
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146433
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On September 12th, 2011, the ban on deer hunting became official. Apparently, the hunting and killing of deer had become too cruel.
The ban had been a long time in the making. Ever since man began hunting deer way back in the day—somewhere between a fe
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191012
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Yesterday, I ripped off Dollar General. Today my baby died. Tomorrow I will file a lawsuit. After all, someone has to pay.
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