Stories tagged humor

Here's the Trouble

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I live in the Grilled Pork Tenderloin with Cabernet Mustard Sauce, and she is a hard mistress if there ever was one. So, go easy on me.

More Alleged Victims of Botched Buttocks Surgery Emerge

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If you too have been damaged in the behind, you know, kicked in the ass multiple times, metaphorically or otherwise, you are encouraged to come forward with the evidence, while the tracks are still fresh.

Foreclosure

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Mirror, mirror, on whose wall? Now we can’t even play foosball

Diagnosis: American

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I slithered down in my seat and uttered a secret prayer, one known only to Americans like myself who live abroad. “Please, God,” I begged. “In the name of all that is holy I ask you. Please let him be Canadian.”

Banana Republic

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I would love to believe that this poem might sell a poetry book

Nope

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Can't cope.

None of the Above

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She wanted to let Reg explain, to make it all make sense. She wanted to tell him how she felt, but her words always tangled like hairs in a drain.

A Letter to Saint Francis de Sales – Patron Saint for Writers

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I've been struck with a bout of writer's block, struggling to get pen to page or finger to keyboard....So I make paper airplanes.

An Essay on People who Behave in a Slimy Manner

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Once upon a slime there was an Edenlike place that existed in outerspace all by itself. It was lonely, this little rock in space

the 10 most popular shoplifted items in the U.S.

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Filet mignon, is #1. Jameson’s is next. Scotch. Electric tools. An iphone 4. Gillette Mach 4 blades. Axe deodorant for men. Polo Ralph Lauren. Let’s Rock Elmo. Chanel #5. And number 10: Nikes. You wanna know what I got caught w

First Contact

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All through their descent sequence K’var had nervous premonitions.

The Second Poem of Xmas

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Xmas poem the second The one I never wrote I typed upon a virtual page Composed a mental note Deck the halls with holly boughs Dream of Xmas white

2 New Inventions Coming To a Store Near You

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Hello Kitty Litter

Says the Sky

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He is frowning now. He is rubbing his head. “Yes,” he says. “I am thinking about its preposterousness. In fact, I am thinking of nothing but. You might even say I am pondering it. I am pondering the preponderance of its complete and utter preposterousnes

Shiny

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I'm slim, baby, caramelized as a Slo-Poke buried in the fatty acids of some old dog's guts. The way they creep, frantic with finesse, free, locking their eyes in the dental mirror. It's wrong, maybe, but who'd dare to declaw them? Look at it from their angle, the one that…