Stories tagged humor

The Ballad Of Sideshow Sam & The Heckler

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"You know what a hobo is, my young friend? Or a tramp? Or a bum? Well, I'll tell ya, 'cuz you'll meet all of 'em in yer life and it's a good thing to know since they are each one of 'em different and the difference is this. Bums sit around and loaf. T

Santa’s stuck

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The lard-arsed ol’bastard struggling soot-faced and yelling. . . .

RUBYRED AND PARSHOOTER

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This stage of Junior’s young life was static, moving very little off-center since his graduation from high school five years ago. Treading water both professionally and emotionally never worried him. Not until after what transpired that night when Pr

I Wrote a Book

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About halfway through reading some book that was supposed to be some really deep shit, I decided to write my own book instead.

Blind Date with Nostradamus

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Some silliness to start the new year with a smile. Warning: this piece contains nothing of any literary value. I mean, seriously, not even by accident. Happy 2012 to you all.

A Boy Who Looks Like Horses, or A Horse Who Looks Like Boys

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He nuzzled the breasts with his face for a moment, his leathery skin and tangles of hair tickling her in the process.

Death Pays a Visit But Fucks Up

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We get prepped for the big finale, and we don't want the guy who turns up with the scythe to be Jo-Jo the dog-faced boy.

abalone fishing

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after several beers this woman told me once/(when I was maybe 15)

For Dejan S. & Bob V. & Gordy B.

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Put blisters on your fingers and Put plasters on your head but Put peppers on your privates and You’ll wish that you were dead!

Level

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We waited in a collective gasp—like the vacuous atmosphere which exists after a bomb explodes, when everything is terrible silent—save for her, my beautiful Mary, who defiant and strong, viciously punctuated her act of rebellion: “Vegetarian, Asshole!”

Wrong Place, Wrong Time, Wrong Tree

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I found him dead underneath a sycamore tree. I knew it was a sycamore tree because of all the acorns surrounding the body.

My Literary Pockets

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I don’t know what to do with all this money flowing from my books. It’s burning a hole in my literary pocket.

One with Everything

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I refuse to give in. I am a woman of purpose, hard-wired to whine.

Montego

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they had babies - lots and lots of babies. And they drove around in giant, steel tanks that they called cars.

How?

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The poet paused Pen poised in hand A wrinkle on his brow He’d but to rhyme the final verse The only problem How?