For Dejan S. & Bob V. & Gordy B.

Sometimes when a poem is writ

It's no more than a piece of shit

With a smell as bad as any turd and

Yet it's just a mess of words

Not offensive by themselves

But joined in certain ways they smell

Like feces, poopoo, crap and more

Like diarrhea on the floor

Like flies inside the shithouse stall

Stinky poems offend us all.

 

It's time to use some bigger words than

Those like crap and fart and turds and

So I will.

I will.

I swear.

I'll use the best and biggest words out there

Words like egregious and

Profligate and yes

Words like Parsimonious!

 

Blithely will I make full use of

Colossal verbiage

Creating and composing an

Intransient barrage of

Reconstituted tedium and

Competuous garauche.

Poems that beg the question:

To irrigate or douche?

Or simply just ignore it all

Go lease a summer cottage and

Live in it ‘til fall.

 

Put blisters on your fingers and

Put plasters on your head but

Put peppers on your privates and

You'll wish that you were dead!

I only wrote this poem today

To keep myself amused

There's not a taboo subject

That I have not abused

Just to have a laugh

I'll gladly take a sacred cow

And cleave it with my gaff

Now I'm through

Now I'm done

I've said my piece

I've had my fun.

 

I've wrote about how poems are writ

I've used the words crap, turd and shit!

 

Like the furtive poet of the toilet stall

I've written things to offend us all.

 

So now that I have had my say

Just kiss my ass

And go away.