2189 68 33
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We're so unkempt and sorry.
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5857 7 12
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He reappeared in spring, some Sunday morning, perhaps Easter, when the twigs of the catalpa trees budded and lawns smelled of mud and breaking seeds.
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2079 68 33
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I know he's an accident waiting to happen.
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2486 61 34
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Hours later, we fell out of a helicopter like hunchbacked wingless birds.
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3457 64 35
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Mr. Dorn finishes the song and stands holding his penis, looking amazed, as if penises had just been invented and he'd been asked to try this one out for size.
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1657 33 30
|
I don't want you like a tiger doing homework in the circus
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6241 24 23
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Before I published anything in a literary magazine, I was rejected by literary magazines, dozens of them, and these rejections gave birth to one of my more strange and long-lived art projects.
|
2384 29 20
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Because she is waiting, seated on my hotel bed, making comments about my sonic white toothbrush being a vibrator, telling me she's bi, gorgeous with her poly-amorous discussion and long brown curling hair, with her fawn-like face and delicate breasts, wit
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2647 68 35
|
A tiny bear emerged from the cave of his mouth, grabbed the hair and pulled it on his lap to play with it.
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1865 30 25
|
“Should I go over?” Ma asked, wishing she could freshen her lipstick while finger-combing her frosted hair.
“Sarah, fagodsake, let the man eat in peace. No one wants to have his picture made with food in their mouth,” said Pa.
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2195 45 21
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Every few days, on one of our walks, the dog and I go down to a shallow, quick river...
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2114 33 16
|
The world moves its roving glass eye around in front of you like a dog trying to flip over a frisbee, as if trying to show you how the loveliness of all things here and yet there, from an anything goes, different, always shifting,…
|
2399 74 30
|
Amish-like, between the sheets.
|
2970 25 29
|
While Kate practiced the piano in the tiny third-floor apartment, Wiley cooked dinner, jogging in place in front of the stove.
|
2170 37 32
|
I didn't tell her how deeply a terrible weakness for ginger haired people ran in our family, how fortunes had been lost only because of a red beard, a freckled shoulder of exquisite paleness, or a pink nipple.
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928 75 30
|
Joaquin Phoenix has inspired me to quit writing and purse my true lifelong passion.
|
9697 14 15
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My date with Satan commenced at the Sanrio store by Union Square where we went to browse through two stories of miniature Japanese school supplies and grooming accessories.
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1880 98 33
|
We had them in our bunk beds in the trailer, before Becky fell and broke her neck.
|
1874 39 26
|
"Oh, abracadabra," she muttered.
|
1968 66 34
|
Co-workers come in to pee or brush their teeth and the pump squeaks and from the stall, Ling says sorry…I'm sorry.
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1974 41 32
|
Let me tell you a story, child, of how your father became your father...
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2103 35 27
|
She walks alone in black high heels
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1564 22 21
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My first love was a woman of principle. Never deny your man was her motto.
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2554 27 23
|
Thornapples will make you dream things that never were.
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2162 56 35
|
In between, they love each other madly, fuck like the rare....
|
2921 6 6
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[JESUS LOVES YOU MORE THAN ANYBODY, BUT HE'S DEAD. NO-ONE COULD EVER LOVE YOU AS MUCH, OR YOU THEM, SO DON'T EVEN TRY. HAVE A NICE LIFE! MERRY CHRISTMAS, EVERYONE!]
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3720 59 19
|
First published on www.humortimes.com
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6066 20 17
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The woman returns from the store with an armload of books. She reads them quickly, one by one, over the course of the next few weeks. But when she opens the last one, the woman frowns in surprise.
All the pages in the book are blank.
Every single one.
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2258 33 31
|
She was a dead bird the morning I found her, wings clipped in dirt and blood vanished into tiny braille maps on concrete.
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2652 35 31
|
I am not against the darkness / I can learn to live with restraint
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