by Kathy Fish
Wake Up
My neighbor, Mr. Dorn, is standing naked on my front steps, singing. He looks like a reptile in the moonlight. Maybe he's sleepwalking, in which case, I know not to go and shake him or he'll keel over with a heart attack. I've read about this.
This is my third night of insomnia and I'm feeling as close to crazy as I ever have. Lack of REM sleep can lead to hallucinations and disordered thinking. It's possible Mr. Dorn is not even here, but cozy in his bed with Mrs. Dorn. It's possible I'm not even here.
I go to the kitchen and heat up some leftover pumpkin soup. Mr. Dorn is singing "My Cherie Amour" and is on the "la la la" part. He doesn't sound anything like Stevie Wonder.
Bill, my cat, rubs against my leg and I crumble off bits of bread and cheese and she eats it out of my hand, taking her time. Bill misses my husband, the one she really loved. The one who really loved her. The apartment he moved into doesn't allow cats. That last night he held Bill's face close to his and said, "This is only temporary" but that was news to me.
Mr. Dorn is having difficulty reaching the high notes. Bill jumps to the windowsill and hisses at him.
"Bill, come on. Don't be a bitch." I pick her up and rub her under her chin, the way she likes. Mr. Dorn finishes the song and stands holding his penis, looking amazed, as if penises had just been invented and he'd been asked to try this one out for size.
I don't want to call and scare Mrs. Dorn. They are such a nice couple. Just before Christmas, Mrs. Dorn was going away to some craft fair in Minneapolis and she knew Mr. Dorn would be lonely so she built him a snow version of herself standing in front of their house. Mrs. Dorn used some artistic license because it was a helluva stacked snow woman. I took a picture of Mr. Dorn standing next to "Darla II" and made an 8 x 10 of it for him to frame. He cried when I gave it to him and she'd only been gone three days.
I call my husband sometimes in the middle of the night.
"Are we going to be okay?" I ask, whispering. I don't want to wake him up completely. I read somewhere that people in a semi-conscious state are incapable of lying.
Mr. Dorn needs to wake up and go home to his bed. I push up the window and lean close to the screen and start singing "la la la la la la."
He blinks.
"La la la la la la..."
He clears his throat and lets go of his penis. Mr. Dorn and I are singing My Cherie Amour together. Maybe he's still asleep or maybe he's not, but I'll say this, the two of us are really something.
35
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Originally published in Juked. This story was selected for the Wigleaf Top 50 Very Short Stories of 2008.
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Yippie! My all time favorite story! Thanks for posting this little masterpiece, Kathy.
Ha, I saw you were here this morning and thought I'd post it for you, Jack. It's one of my favorites to do for readings. Thanks!
Great, great piece. Wonderful flow to this, Kathy. Nicely done.
Thanks, Sam! It's such a simple little story. I remember writing it and it came very quickly. I love it when that happens.
Just read some place (authentic/reliable) where the drugs that the body manufactures when in love are being isolated for use in curing physicochemical diseases. Or. I suggest people could just read this miracle of a short story. Bill. The Dorns. Even our narrator. Love. Star.
...or read kind feedback from James Robison. Thank you so much, sir.
Kathy, when I get to this line:
"Mr. Dorn is having difficulty reaching the high notes."
I start to feel that what could not be better has gotten better. It continues to get better with details like this: "Mrs. Dorn used some artistic license" and "I don't want to wake him up completely" and "looking amazed, as if penises had just been invented and he'd been asked to try this one out for size."
It doesn't get any better. *
Thanks so much, Ann!
Fave!
Thanks, Jerry Ratch!
The two of these characters are really something, Kathy! Beautiful story. Fave.
Kim, you are kind. Thanks so much!
'I read somewhere that people in a semi-conscious state are incapable of lying'. Hmm, I hope so too. Perfect story.
Thank you, Diane!
Love and kindness and fear and uncertainty rolled into this one amazing story! It has the definite Kathy Fish touch, but even more so. I esp love the asides:
"This is only temporary" but that was news to me.
"I don't want to wake him up completely. I read somewhere that people in a semi-conscious state are incapable of lying."
Gorgeous work
*
yes, a masterpiece. Needs to be anthologized, if it isn't already. *
*****
Kathy, makes me smile. Every.Single.Word. Love the stacked snowbabe, the song choice, the sweet worry. Beautamous! Peace...****
Smile. Smile. Smile. Smile.
Continuously wonderful.
*
Wow, Susan, Julie, Cherise, Linda, and Bill, thanks so much for the kind words and the faves!
Oh, what a double-story here of love and loneliness. So very well done, Kathy!
Thanks, kindly, Susan!
At times you can only sing, as does this piece.
Thanks, David and good morning!
This is one of my favorites of yours, Kathy. So full of great stuff & wonderful surprises throughout. Big fave.
hey, thanks Mark, I appreciate that!
I love that Bill is female. I don’t know why. It’s just one of the many reasons I LOVE this story.
Thank you, Kari!
Funny story.
Thank you, Matthew.
This is spell-binding; keeps building and building.
Thanks, Beate!
Nice little dream of a story.
Thank you, Peter!
What a wonderful mix of dream and reality.
brilliant, reading this for the third time now! so good!
Thanks so much Jon and Angel!
This line: "That last night he held Bill's face close to his and said, "This is only temporary" but that was news to me." just broke my heart.
I love this piece...it was funny and touching and all kinds of great. *.
Aw, thank you Jules!
A masterpiece of storytelling that runs on different levels. I'll recommend WAKE to others with this line. "I'll bet you can't read this story just once."
Fav.
Oh, ha! From the singing, confused Mr. Dorn, to the (possibly) unreliable, to Bill the bitchy cat, to the stacked snowwoman, there was just so much here. I think you should send it to Stevie Wonder. There is such a joy and a lightness in what I've read of your stuff so far, even the more poignant pieces. (And while you do all this, you manage to convey so much shared humanity.) Thanks for this. -- Q
I meant to say, above, "unreliable narrator." (I'm the unreliable fictionauter today. oops.)
Ramon, man, that is the highest compliment. Thank you so much.
Quenby thanks, thanks, that means a lot to me!
fantastic storytelling. i like how an entire unsuspected cast of characters, in the end including even mr dorn's dingy dong, are entering my imagination through your mastery of scene and spirits.
Thanks so much, Marcus! Means a lot to me.
Enjoyed this beautifully crafted story so much. Thank you.
Thank you, Rumjhum!
"...the two of us are really something."
Ha. This story is remarkable. One of my favorites. I am, albeit a new fan of yours, finding a recurring sensation of amusement, building curiosity, and subtle epiphany as I read your stories. That said, they each have a unique cast and bent.
Hey, thanks, Jen. You have made my morning here.
Life can be so sad and lonely as you surly depicted it in this lovely form.
Thank you, Estelle!
Kathy, you're not going to believe what just came on the radio.... (i kid you not)
Congrats on a fabulous piece!
ha, love it! synchronicity city...thanks so much, Sara..when are you going to post a new story? I want to read you again.
Kathy, what was a wonderful chunk of time we got to see. I love the way nothing is resolved. This was a smooth and entertaining read.
love this!
Thanks, Maryanne!
Thanks, Grey!
Gawd, this is good. Surpises at every turn. Wonderful, Kathy!
Hey, thank you Bonnie!
Great flash, Kathy!
Thanks very much, Marcelle!
enjoyed your story, for sure--
about music: of all the arts, surelythe most emotional.
for a spell, after ma cherie amour incident, could only listen to classical music. the formal elements soothed me. only that--
Just gotta fav this, even if I am late to the party.
A+ / *
Thank you, Jake!