A Map
It was war without beginning or end. It was a time of transactions and weapon systems. It was the enemy was a product of the war itself. It was the polyphony of surveillance devices. It was the cross-hatched sightlines. It was continuous recording. It was the silver trailer centers of chain-link labyrinths in the desert. It was the systems that mapped the future and the algorithmic patterns of deviant behavior. It was a duplicate world. It was the vaporization of targets. It was the drone operators who stepped outside for a cigarette, the situation of the sun and arrangements of clouds relative to the honeycomb cracked surface of the land. It was the late night driving through mosaics of radio shatter, advertisements and sporting events, the names of the disappeared and other faraway places. It was every nowhere.
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Author's Note
Lately, I've been working on polyphonic sequences. But I think this one might stand on its own. Enjoy.
Other stories by stephen hastings-king
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Horrific devastation told with total detachment of machines. Very well done. *
good stuff.*
The only thing to fear realized. Wonderful writing. Very close to perfect.
"It was every nowhere."
*
And you had to go and remind me.... Fav
Nice use of rhythm here, I like the swing and feel of the piece. Great tone and devastating in its own way. Good work.
This worked very well for me. Good piece, SHK.
*
present future perfect
Nice one, Stephen.
thanks for having a look. i'm pleased that the piece works for you. i wasn't entirely sure about pulling it out of the sequence from which it comes. so yay!
I would like to echo Sam's and Gloria's and the others' comments. Precise brief. *
like. I do think this stands alone well. "It was the enemy was a product" - little awkward for me.
cont: not sure if it is intended or editorial artifact.
otherwise, perfect. drone operators and their casual cigarettes...
all of the above. "It was the polyphony of surveillance devices. It was the cross-hatched sightlines."
sound and sight perfectly described.
How it feels, man.*
Great piece full of intelligence. *
Love it all but especially the last line. This is great writing, Stephen *
Thanks very much for the reads and lovely comments. Much appreciated. I'm pleased that the piece resonates for you.
Frankie: I kept the sentence that caught you as it is deliberately. It seems to me one that should trip you up a little. I had considered putting quotation marks around the enemy was a product of the war itself to make the scanning easier, but decided against it.
"It was the late night driving through mosaics of radio shatter"
Nice!
Made me think of Dürrenmatt's The Winter War in Tibet which also goes on forever an epic war. Different style, time, continent but the spirit carries.
goodness. *
I thought I'd commented on this but had not.
"It was the systems that mapped the future and the algorithmic patterns of deviant behavior."
Yup.
hey...thanks very much for the reads and comments.
any association with durrenmatt is quite flattering. so thanks for that as well.