The moon rose up on its tinfoil bed
by Darryl Price
and floated along with
us like it was attached
with a string. I thought that
meant we had a boat in
case of emergencies
but she said it was sad
to see it following
in our wake like a cork.
I still think it looked every
bit the stylish silver-
capped swimmer doing
the backhanded tango.
There was no noticeable
splash,ever, but it
did come apart in several
glowing pieces
whenever it hit the
tallest trees, only to
pull itself back into
an almost perfect circle,
albeit a mostly
wobbly one, instantly,
upon clearing
the branches. By midnight
we were the ones dangling
beneath magnetized toes
and being borne along
like a couple of hair
pins. I had to laugh. Your
scarf was covered in dust.
071310
Bonus:if you are in the mood and so inclined to read more, here are a couple of other poems having nothing to do with the above work. I just thought I'd give you more because I like you:
Big Escape
Oh nothing's wrong. Everything
walks its own immanent brand
of magic through each new day's
front doors. But that doesn't mean
a heart isn't sliced down the
middle by some remembered
sunset. We're all clothes inside
the washing machine. And still
you see people acting like
sharks, just like animals with
poisonous barbs for fingers
looking for something to spear
just for the hell of it. They
take the most beautiful thing
they can find and break it. So,
no, nothing's wrong. Amidst all
this idiot carnage I
have you pretending to have
all the time in the world to
find and give love. You think that
those stars don't ever lie, but
of course they are becoming
the bells that will toll your sleep.
There you go again turning
me out, living a life while
I'm breaking down in my strides
becoming nothing more than
a vanishing cloud of dreams.
DP
|
23
favs |
1307 views
33 comments |
476 words
All rights reserved. |
Author's Note
Forthcoming in Leopardskin & Limes thanks to Jane Flett.
Also The Big Escape po
em is forthcoming in THIS Literary magazine...May/June 2011 issue. Thanks to everyone involved with choosing this particular one.
Very nice. Loved the concluding lines.
Hi Darryl, glad I saw this a lovely poem
Enjoyed that very much, Darryl.
I feel so bouncy after reading this! Great adjectives!
A marvelous piece, DP. Great mix of form and phrasing. And what a marvelous title. The closing is very effective.
“I had to laugh. Your
scarf was covered in dust.”
Fav.
Wonderful sweet poem and great images.
Terrific lines in here! The last stanza pulls me right along! Magic, magic ending. He's got the chops!
Great, great work, Darryl. We're all clothes inside the washing machine - Wisdom is a choice you make not to be an asshole.
YES! *!
Darryl, this came across with a lot of thought, and more than a little pain.
Oh, Darryl, your best work ever!! and the other poems you have written are awesome so that is saying something.
The first poem deals with the vagaries of the moon, such imagery - the next two poems deal with living life to the full and to our best ability! Horace Greeley said character is the only thing that endures and you have that in spades, it is evident in your words. Well, well done, Darryl!
fav
Agree that these are strong as a group. Love the way you go with such a unique thought, the title of the first one,just marvelous that,and bring it to a close with that equally great image. I also think these three & the first especially have perfect form and breaks to keep the meter seemless.
I think the full force of the moon poem is weakened by the two that follow and I think they should be cut. I like the moon poem because it stays with its central conceit throughout and it draws a line of wonderful sense, literally and figuratively, as well as conjuring night magic magically. Could have been recited by Puck. I'd love to see a DP poem without the ubiquitous "you" and I'd love to see an angle of address that alters the poet's stance and attack.
Good poetry, enjoyed reading all three. Interesting discussion, enjoyed reading that, too.
So full of life and ecstasy
One of your best yet!
*
very wonderful, DP
The moon poem is full of mystery and mischief, and so very lovely. Someone said s/he could hear it recited by Puck, and that is such a perfect compliment. Peace...
LOVE the title ("the moon rose up on its tinfoil bed") and all that follows. Excellent poem, Darryl! It navigates a twisting path and never loses its step.
Thank you so much for your support--all of you.Poetry isn't just one moment, one wink, one nod, one squeeze. It's an expansion, a progression, a happening that foretells other happenings. It's a connection not a phonecall. It's a field of flowers even when represented by one single stem in a vase. It's a blanket of stars, not a coat. It's never one shoe even if it looks to be. It's certainly someone touching a body of water with their palm and outstretched fingers, but this isn't meant to be captured in a jar. It's meant to create ripples and for those ripples to run back and forth between the earth and the sky creating musics upon musics. It's a beacon but the light isn't meant for one lonely ship only. Lastly, if I may, it's a sign, a hand print on the universal wall, but it doesn't just mean me, it means you, too. dp
"animal mythologies turning like keys."
If you just wrote these five words and stopped then posted this, I'd be gushing about the power, the talent, saying how craft like this is why we keep trying.
Love these two poems together, DP, but the first one really knocked me out - the simplicity of it, the one long bright image, sometimes flickering and breaking up but always pulling itself back together. It is simple and strong and powerful. And the words on the page are beautiful, too.
I love the first piece. Great flavors that I remember from a long ago love, even years later.
Yes, yes.
Thanks, Tracy. Actually BIG ESCAPE is a love poem, too. One of my personal favorites because it speaks of having to love, not wanting to love, and sometimes being the only witness to it. That's painful, but that's life.Thanks so much for the read.
liked the first one and can't tell you why, which I suppose is consistent with the poems-should-not-mean-but-be school of thought.
Loved the imagery, the language, and the shift in perspective between the poet seeing the moon as a balloon, and the companion seeing it as a cork in the wake.
Really loved the closing stanza. "I had to laugh. Your scarf was covered in dust." Well done.
The comments you have received above say more together than I can alone. However, I will say that every line carried a magnificent and quiet image of a voyage that seems to be headed nowhere, and having arrived, simultaneously.
Beautiful imagery. I love the last stanza.
This seems almost a prose poem, but cut apart and pasted into the framework of verse... an interested dichotomy. I liked the line "there was no noticeable splash."
I love the line about being like hair pins. The analogy is whimsical yet mysterious.
Loved this when I read it as a submission, and I still do.
Loved the moon, and enjoyed the bonuses. Thanks.
Wow. This is gleaming. And has the most perfect title. I adore it. *