Most recent stories

That's Unethical!

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My husband says you don’t have to tip the owner of an establishment, just employees. I never heard of that rule, and suspect it is another example of him just being cheap.

Hail Mary Pass

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so for penance, the priest gave me the full twelve Stations of the Cross

Agape

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Every time Hector left his home he wondered if it was for the last time. It was Monday at 2:45, so he was standing in the bedroom near the tall mirror, staring into his dark eyes. In the past, she would lovingly help him dress with her tiny, perfect fingers. She…

Arcana Magi Rush

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The screams snapped Akane out of her thoughts. She looked up and there was a dragon, all alone. It flapped its bat like wings, stationary in the sky.

An Ugly Man

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On her lunch break, she dumps Luis for Daniel Towens, the ugliest man in the county.

Whose Barney's Version is This, Anyway?

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Early reviews of Barney’s Version (the film) had prepared me for finding the book’s most amusing attributes – particularly its skewering of Quebec nationalist politics and Canadian cultural nationalism – left out. After all, turning a 417-page account of

Walking to Gibraltar, Chapter 13: In Which Dr. Cowboy Rides Again

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Frank sat next to her on the gurney and squeezed her hand. "You're going to be okay, Astrid. You're going to wake and it's going to be over and you're going to be okay." "You don't know that," she said.

Annabel 4 Dan

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Burne-Jones hair and big-boned body ever-suggestive of a Titian Venus ... [meets] ... warm like toast, grey smiling eyes and dartingly light-footed,

Bride and Groom

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He wears an old black tux, shiny at the elbows, and his gray hair has been styled and sprayed into a fragile tornado. On his lap sits a Chihuahua wearing a bridal outfit—veil and all.

Fallen Women 1010

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Like all professors, I'm required to maintain office hours to help my students so I'm at my desk every fourth Tuesday of months without an "r" in them from 10:30 to 11:00 p.m.

randy the ram

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For you I bring the circus, I reinvent the shine

The Misfortune 500

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When I first started out in my working career, I made it the habit of obtaining jobs with companies that were about to go under. (I wrote more books while on unemployment than by any other method.) I was a real bloodhound at sniffing out the pre-dawn od

The Show Must Go On

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I had the idea for a pageant for my obedience school at spring graduation

Happy Trails

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"But is it politically correct?" he asked. "Oh, yes," said Hank. "It's all the rage."

Riverside

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Talking to Shakespeare by the riverside, I am saddened by my lust for women, how my eyes fixate on the spit that passes from top to bottom lip as they talk to me.

Don't You Feel Like Crying?

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The sky was dressed in a wedding gown. The hooves of my horse clicked like consonants on the stone of the butte.

The Troupe

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A performance is a series of situations. Each situation defines the characters that are in it.

Ennui

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I've done the math, it didn't count. All the days and years of endless boredom. Of waiting for the next best thing, trapped inside your mind like a lifetime prison sentence. Maybe one day we'll be free, maybe one day we won't feel so oppressed. But when does that day…

Members of the Story

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Pinesatz is standing again. He and Marie seem unaware of time, unaware that Louane is watching them, unaware of waiting for Wendy with the car. Every glance is a hook. Every gleam is a glance. Every stanza is a room. She vies for it.

How to Take a Meeting, for the Woman Who Fell to Earth

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1) be awake2) wear clothes1a) get out of beda1) go to bed the night before6) put a smile on her face, but not too smiley6a) maintain precisely calculated level of irony and derision in a just kidding (not kidding!) manner suited to responses of the enemy6aia) normal words,…

33 and a 1/3

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I've been in Tucson two days, and so far most of my conversations with my father have taken place while I crane my neck and squint into the sun. I scream up, he screams down. He needs to fix the leaky roof before the rainy season, he says.

Flannery O'Connor's Tea Party

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“He's the one who took five tries to find your vein during your last blood draw, right?” This question spilled from the row of twenty EKG machines that now made up the hospital building's larynx

Tales from an Indiscriminate Record Collection

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45s I’ve kept wrapped in newspaper in the attic. These are all mine. Some doubling up in sleeves. Some pushing tears in the seams.

Treasure Hunting Brings Sunnis, Shiites Together

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Muslim factions are getting a helping hand to bridge the gap that has divided Shiites from Sunnis since Mohammed died--a new version of the Peace Corps that uses recreational metal detection to build friendship.

Living in the Lapin of Luxury

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“There’s cheap land at Cudlee Creek perfect for breeding long-haired rabbits,” he added. “They can’t jump high so fencing costs are low.”

Origins

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I was sleeping the night of a hurricane party. I awoke to lightning flashes. They lit the undersides of descending clouds, and lit the shadows of scattering dancers. The hurricane must have turned inland.

Cassandra Folds My Poem in Her Hand and Loses Her Heart in the Process

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Ours is but the very small effort being made here.But it's a good enough keeper for all of usto always remember off. All the tins thataren't really going to save usfrom starving, now are neatly arranged all around, justin case, stacked…

Still Life

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She was a moon dancer, keeper of secrets,

Leather

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When I was 17, they said in an e-mail that you would get too drunk to function and that you would abuse them, verbally, and do way more than embarrass them in public. They said you'd yell at them and hit their mom for any reason. They put a restraining order on you.…

In Between (edit)

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Behind me are two doors. Each opens onto a room which is more event than space.