991 8 2
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174196
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But do come close enough for me to hear.
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130021
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"That zit on your forehead just won't go away, will it, sweetie?" she adds as she brushes her daughter's bangs downward.
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130575
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I was tired and lonesome when I checked into another insufferable, shop-worn Holiday Inn. It was the only motel around with the internet — dial up only — in that little jerkwater town, Notmuch, Alabama. It was too late for a nap, so I jumped in the shower,…
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143332
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He asked me if I was going to buy Valentine's for the office this year, and I shook my head. We were in the dollar store, February 13, and I could get a box of twenty kids' Valentines with last year's favourite cartoon…
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122021
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I was born at the age of 42.
Some of you might regard that as a handicap, but at the time I assumed everyone was born fully grown in a corporate test kitchen. In fact, I still think of it as an advantage; like being born with a silver spoon in my hand.
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20122420
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I don't usually take bets, / but I took this one.
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20862716
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"A prostitute of the Hotel Khadijah in Rahab fell in love with my father...."
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112000
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“Honorable condominium association members,” the leader begins. “I apologize for not having a PowerPoint slide show tonight, but me and my muchachos travel light.”
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197030
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While I had believed that the subject had been exhausted, that the bottomless pit of the individual navel gazer had been done to death, now here arrives How To Find Yourself to show that previous literature had only scratched the surface of the belly butt
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119685
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Mari thinks that's all fine and fucking dandy.
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115100
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She can still be normal, says Momma, knowing my sister can’t hear, forgetting I can.
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168742
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He finds a beach ball and recreates humanity upon it. Kicking it down the shore he wonders how the little people must feel about each other. To place them on such a tiny globe almost seems unfair.
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109852
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This year, instead of giving roses or candy for Valentine's Day, why not give something your spouse will never forget.
A brand new divorce!
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128621
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"You don't need the gun," Dean said. "Bring me a bottle of peroxide and some duct tape."
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101321
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In the tang of winter warm
and summer cool,
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157297
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They say
it was like an elephant
married to a dove.
Imagine, me,
a dove!
Ridículo!
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98882
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I'm not sure if my heart is breaking Or attacking Like an aged lovesick romantic with a faulty beat, I sense a valve needs replacing But only after the main artery has been sutured and made whole By a seasoned and skilled Midwest surgeon in a…
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21115222
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I doused back three Buds in the time it took him to detest a variety of subjects including the naivety of quantum physics and pregnant women.
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73953
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158533
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Last night, the station played me a dream of sexual promiscuity that included -- but was not limited to -- imaginative acts involving....
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177100
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I, personally, just had no interest in having some pimply-faced moron stick his tongue down my throat.
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200387
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On a visit, Jesus sees bracelets with WWJD. What does that mean? he asks. What Would Jesus Do? they respond. I wouldn’t wear that, he says.
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1514107
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She can never say why, but guilt rides her bones
like the spirit. She rubs worry raw.
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102711
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12621110
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They wanted to go fresh water fishing, so I had to buy worms. None there in the saltwater town. Drove about 10 miles over the long bridge to cross the bay. I'd been there before. Walked in and a crusty, little skinny man got up from his chair. He: Watcha need? Me: Fresh…
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18361412
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...but still, when she whispers that going out now might put her in the mood later he unties from his mooring and sets them both drifting toward the gin-splintered latitudes
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107200
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Made sense then, should have written it down - But I fell back to sleep instead
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114823
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I even listen to the Ugly Kid Joe version. I fall asleep perplexed and disheartened.
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178422
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A little bony for my tastes–I wonder if she’s on the Lady Di diet. I wouldn’t kick her out of bed for eating crackers, but it would be like sleeping with Eva Braun.
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