1687 26 9
|
So they told him he better get ready to join the army because that’s where it was at, for him. After all, not everybody could split coconuts with their hands.
|
168688
|
I lay naked on the floor, feet toward the door, so that when my wife entered she would immediately see that leggy thoroughfare, ending at deflated buttocks and chicken-skinned scrotum, and in her repulsion repel me from her life. How wrong I was.
|
16852317
|
Death came to my street, but I did not invite him.
|
168511
|
Everyone asks that question. The short answer is: he brought it on himself.
|
1685196
|
He was entirely guilty of what he had done and wanted that to be acknowledged and understood by the arresting officer.
|
16853914
|
The so-called good, a weak but whiny lot, who actually clung to that abstract of "justice for all," would tattle to Mrs. Pufry...Mzzz Puffy, she hit me...Mzzz Puffy he said the bad word...Mzzz Puffy, I gotta go...Mzzz Puffy, Thomas is hanging in the cloak
|
16851811
|
She hardly twitches. Her face regards the stars. If her body is an object, it is the isthmus before global warming.
They want to find the source of the glacier in her eyes that is always melting. Maybe they like a woman who cries.
|
168586
|
It was my grandmother's idea of a joke, but I never realized she was joking when she repeated it every Thanksgiving. She would sit at the head table just before Uncle Leon would carve the bird and ask, "It's an American holiday. Shouldn't we be roasting an eagle…
|
168500
|
"I can't believe my 'best friend' and my 'girlfriend' would actually start dating if I authorized and coordinated repeated threesomes for us!" Robert Eww was saying, holding aloft a dagger and book, with an olive wreath around his head.
|
168520
|
At first she kept repeating "I don’t know why he's doing this" as if the cops thought she was mixed up in it somehow. When they convinced her that all she needed to do was talk to her brother and tell him to give himself up, she looked hopeless.
|
16842021
|
Nights like this don’t happen often, nights when I wander the streets of an unknown village, dark and quiet streets that offer little in the way of diversion.
|
16842018
|
Can you see me dying? 'Not quite',
Said Mummy, 'because it happens
Very slowly all the time.
|
168411
|
"Her actions in the city seemed invariably designed to destroy that person, which she’d worked so hard all her life to become."
|
16842313
|
She stepped out of her panties. She spread her arms wide. "Take me!" she sang.
|
1684124
|
Shadows skipped across the bedroom wall at 80 km/hour. It wouldn't be so bad if people wouldn't use their high beams but it's the price you pay for living on a dark highway with low property taxes. “How do you sleep in here?”…
|
168321
|
Sunday mornings my mother got up early—and dragged me kicking and screaming out of bed and into my nicest jeans and sweater. I have still never thanked her. (I’m borrowing, of course, but that doesn’t make it any less true.)
|
168375
|
You worry that the mullahs suspect us, but that cannot be. We never touch in public. You weep and I shake when a neighbor knocks on the door.
|
16822313
|
Could sampans fall upward, sailing from the bottom of the Earth? If so, which way would their sails bend—up, or down? And would the strange China Sea follow suit? Would salt water geysers spurt from the hole we dug, flooding the streets of Seattle?
|
168233
|
Describe how like or unlike a vagina a peach pit is, using no anatomical words.
|
1682118
|
She was a moon dancer, keeper of secrets,
|
168274
|
When they called him down there to the morgue to identify the body, he drove behind the wheel of his truck like some steady maniac on a long haul. The Ford 150 cried out for new shocks, but that hardly mattered. Mud plastered side panels and…
|
1681910
|
No one knows that, while the ex-Area 51 guy delivered his rant, Art Bell left the booth for a Diet Coke.
|
168112
|
["GET UP, GET GET, GET DOWN ... 9-11'S A JOKE IN *your* TOWN!"]
|
16811612
|
In all my marriage stories, I am both victim and hero.
|
16801613
|
The Bond Trader begins his morning with coffee and a hit of LSD.
|
16801611
|
Their breath stank inside my lungs and tamped down the very minute amount of remorse I had left. It was replaced with contempt. Their fear warmed my cold sensibility as I steeled myself.
|
167910
|
I've been struck with a bout of writer's block, struggling to get pen to page or finger to keyboard....So I make paper airplanes.
|
1679169
|
On a night in 1952 he walked her home in the freezing rain, past the nativity in front of St. Mark's, sharing his flask of schnapps. Look, my fingers are prunes, she said. He kissed her hands and said, Let's name our firstborn Adlai. She laughed and said, No. Dwight.…
|
1679145
|
And on nights like those I conjure Martha's childhood, a little girl who could make the whole world fall in love with her, with those goddam big seashell eyes, enticing adults to fall into a blue-green sea that never ends, never promises survival.
|
167956
|
He is snoring inside the silo of his throat. The inside there shines golden but that’s not the truth. There is something caught below the gold.
|
