Most read stories

Extracurricular

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Later I take his hand, and I lead him up the stairs. I want to show him something, I say.

Bumble Bee

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This bumble-bee been following me around all day. Ever since I woke up, it's been with me. I just now smacked it to the ground and then it crawled on my bag and flew up to me again, zooming all around me; it's frightening me, a little. Bee…

Perquampi

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If anyone should wonder whether a purveyor of weekly ghost tales on television ("A World Beyond", which I host, was rated number six in fall of '55), might come to feel undone by a case of extradimensional foulness, they shall herein find their answer.

Bad Dad

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When they were seven, he’d taken them out to the desert and let them shoot a .38 at rusted cans. The explosions rocked them back on their heels.

Mouth Manifesto

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I want you to kiss me like you’re listening to my tongue. I want you to hear the rhythm of my heart through my lips. Can you feel what I’m telling you? If you’re entering my borders, it doesn’t matter where - my mouth, my pussy, my ear... you’d better pay

Squish-Squash

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Dan leaned back on his haunches and smoked. He was a massive man, not the type to sit like that. But he did. He sat like that, smoking and he said: “I feel like this kid I went to school with. Everybody called him Squish-Squash.” We asked him…

Filth

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“Get ya hands outta there, ya filthy old cunt!” I look up, his distorted face hurling more abuse.

The Coming Cunts

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The first band I was ever in was called the Coming Cunts. Coming wasn’t spelled with a “u” because we thought the phrase would come off too transgressive.

Homecoming

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Pion's long fingers fly from black to white, white to black, without missing even a measure. The nocturne starts soft.

Things You Probably Didn't Know About Michigan

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I love Michigan. Michigan is my home. I love living in Michigan. There are so many things about Michigan that people don't know. People of the world don't know anything about Michigan. Our haiku festivals, quality cheeses, our love of skinny neckties and

The Gift

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She reached under the tissue and pulled out a third gift. “It’s like peeling open my heart,” he said, “one layer for each year.”

Too Quiet on the Carpet

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I've seen the pinch marks. It can't be worth it.

If I’m honest

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We lived in a Holiday Inn trying not to be depressed that life had turned out to be so much like Eastenders, trying not to acknowledge that the thrill we’d got out of each other was the thrill of giving in to the wrong thing. We had more sex than ever b

Tastes like Wind

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Sand underfoot.It's raining I say …

Almost Like Love

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Because it was almost like love, love. Because the potential for that innocence beckoned me, and I became reckless in search of it. I exposed my heart.

I Hate Your Favorite Band

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He (after learning of my former occupation as a record store owner): So, what is your favorite band of all time?

Though I'm NEVER Drunk, I'm ALWAYS Disorderly (memoir)

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1987. Recently, I told a teenager who was smoking a cigarette in an elevator that he should put it out. “You a cop?” he asked.

Tinges of Envy or How You Learn

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Acknowledge that your primary creative ambition until this point has been to think of a plausible word for male-lover-friend that is not overly significant or obsolete like husband and boyfriend.

postcards from penelope

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fun fact: a doll's legs will twitch while being scalped but only for just a little bit

The Silver Lady

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Trapped inside a seashell, almost pickled and eaten for dinner—could my life become any more bizarre?

WWJRD

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On a visit, Jesus sees bracelets with WWJD. What does that mean? he asks. What Would Jesus Do? they respond. I wouldn’t wear that, he says.

How Poets Die

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Mark Strandover decadesa steady diet of dictionenlarged his heartone day it just burstRobert Frosta crazy ideathat he couldbuild a wallwithout mortar tookpossession of his mindhe piled stoneon stone higherand higher untilthey toppled overcrushing him beneath Wilfred…

Land of Beastiality and the One Night Stand, #2

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You want L.A.? I’ll give you L.A. Land of the perpetual one-night stand. Land of the Leslies and the Sweets lying around all day in their bed just around the corner from this convent across the street from my apartment that took in the pregnant and the lo

How To Find Yourself (or a reasonable facsimile)

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While I had believed that the subject had been exhausted, that the bottomless pit of the individual navel gazer had been done to death, now here arrives How To Find Yourself to show that previous literature had only scratched the surface of the belly butt

One Cent Baby

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Yesterday, I ripped off Dollar General. Today my baby died. Tomorrow I will file a lawsuit. After all, someone has to pay.

Round the World Now

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It's true that he had always been more pure than her, looking for the authentic experience, authentic food. And more adventurous. Blogging their way around the world, yes, that had been his idea . . .

History Channel

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Some of the notes allude to how the ineluctable modalities of the visible and audible are transformed by the experience of hanging in a transparent egg half out of a B-17 at 10 thousand feet waiting to be spattered like paint.

The Bicycle

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Oh what fun they had riding that bike! What adventures! They went everywhere, in town and out.

How To Train A Rock

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The first thing one notices about rocks is they are essentially quiet creatures. Adverse to long discourses or extended bouts of conversation, they nevertheless are quite engaged in life.

Zom Prom Mom

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We fucked in the backseat like the verse of a b-side, and that was enough to make him think my boys were half of his body.