Dinner at La Maison Bouche
by Marc Vincenz
The knife that precedes the bigger knife that precedes the spoon that precedes
the flat fork,
with stuff like that I'm all butterfingers,
& even though he's never been to Italy except once to shoot a gun when the world was a great big jumble,
he remembers all sorts of punch lines,
I say every good man needs moments when reflections shine like stars inside the mind,
he says gone are the good old days of Egyptian tailors,
but still knots his tie in late Windsor,
perhaps it's taught him how to unravel pink rosettes, and on Friday nights when he brushes off his best,
a three-piece herringbone once zigzagged by a man named Fazul with a twitch somewhere near Saint Martin's Square,
he orders Asti Spumanti and calls me clever young thing.
Very nice. I really like how you used language here.
Thanks Susan. Much appreciated.
This sparks a whole new genre. Can I give it a name? Can I call it 'insinuendo?' Whatever it is, I love it, want to practice it. I will.
Fave
'Insinuendo.' Hmm. Cheers, James.
Terrific use of language and word choices, a multi-layered world emerges, and the details, all external - silverware, clothing, tailors, etc. - are marvelous. *
I agree with the other callers, Marc. It is its own specimen. The long lines are sehr schon. The tone, the lift at the end, seems just right.
*
Thanks Cherise and Ann. Actually somehow couldn't get the system to format the line breaks quite right.
Love the uncommon word choices and great ending.
Thank you, David.
All put to good use, making the case for itself a very good one.Very pleasing read.
Cheers, Darryl.
I like the word choices here.
"gone are the good old days of Egyptian tailors"
Alas!
Alas for all of us, Bill. Nothing will ever be quite the same again.
There’s something really satisfying about this poem. Much to enjoy here, so thank you!
Kari, thanks so much.
Very good poem with a glam edge of yesteryear, yet there is a chill, too
*
Marc, I read where you mentioned a problem with getting the line breaks right. If you first put it into a doc and then copy/paste it into the fictionaut box, it will format as you wrote it.
Hey Susan. Really appreciate it.
FYI, that's exactly what I did re: the formatting - only something didn't quite work right.
There's something really enjoyable about the word-choices here - the 'butterfingers' and 'the world ... a great big jumble'
I liked the yesteryear quality of it that Susan picked up on - put me in mind slightly of Kazuo Ishiguro.
Thanks Roberta
Splendid piece of atmosphere and observation.
very clear, poignant--a complete life within the poem of the scene of the restaurant--
these words are so true:
"I say every good man needs moments when reflections shine like stars inside the mind, "
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Cheers, Bobbi. Appreciate your comments.