1264 7 1
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Drink tons of water they keep telling me...
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1264 1 1
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The white moon is dangling
by a thread tonight.
I close my eyes
and listen to it undress.
Your halo fell around your ankles
and you became see-through,
but there’s a vast gulf between being pretty,
and pretty dangerous.
Still, I’ve s
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1264 0 0
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She looked out the window. It was raining. “Better than snow” she told herself. She didn’t mind traveling. It was good to travel once in a while. By road, when someone else was driving. Like now, on the bus back home. It gave you time to reflect, re
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1264 0 0
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People think being the best-selling author of the Pokey Little Bunny™ series of children’s books is nothing but cream-filled cupcakes, but they’re wrong.
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1264 7 3
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To understand how and when things have gone wrong, it works best to proceed from the beginning and put them in order.
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1263 11 4
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When were you flash frozen?
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1263 3 2
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Roaming beetles
knitting needles
chopstick counter attack.
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1263 0 0
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We used to have a saying: steal an old lady’s pocketbook and you’ll go to jail, steal her pension and you’ll go to the Ritz.
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1263 6 3
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“Professor Gosser,”continued Victor, “I once screwed three women in a row--I mean of course, time, not space—good one, huh? Well, each woman farted at the exact moment she climaxed. Would that qualify as coincidence? And did it have anything to do with th
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1263 3 0
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Musing on female beauty I came up with this: it makes my dick hard. And if that's a bit crude, well, hell, I'm dead. Want to sue me? Back when the clans were at one with the earth, circa goo-gobs of long years B.C., female beauty meant…
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1263 3 1
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Dutton felt thwarted in his literary career, producing only the classic "Here I sit all broken-hearted, paid a nickel to crap and only farted" in a locker room stall at halftime of the 1963 Weedwacker Bowl.
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1263 8 7
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Sometimes he would get up at night, go outside, and stand in the middle of their back yard.
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1263 1 1
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In the afternoon, there was a certain time when the sunlight spilled through the windows in the common room and made everything look all bright and fresh and optimistic. If you ignored the patients and doctors milling about and…
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1263 5 3
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I came out of the Quick Stop and found her in the back seat of my ten-year-old Camry. I don’t know who she is, or why she chose my car. I do know she’s having a baby any minute now.
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1263 1 1
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You think about bears and it gives you a headache? Don’t give them that power.
You see bears and it gives you a headache? Don’t run. Don’t walk but don’t run.
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1263 0 0
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Transhumanism has always had its malcontents usually derived from some philosophic contestation, but for all their thought experiments, somehow my present situation eluded them.
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1263 0 0
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I can’t move - I try to move my arms - I try to move my legs - If I can scream then that will wake me up - I scream
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1263 3 2
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He doesn't tell her that he is married, and that his five year old daughter who is living at your house has a mother back in that same city
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1263 5 4
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My father is the kind of man to shout at you /
just because you took the wrong road /
at least the road that he’s not used to...
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1263 15 9
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I am a housekeeper at a private women's college in upstate New York.
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1262 4 4
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This is the hole I fell in. I can sort of crawl out of it now, but I must have fallen fastasleep in there. Does it really matter if it was for a long or a short time? Everyone is suddenly gone like a smile and replaced lately by sadly different versions…
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1262 0 0
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Before I take on any client, I need to know why exactly you need the services of a professional wingman. It’s hard to admit to your failures, especially when it involves your penis.
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1262 1 0
|
Around sunset or sometime after, we are on the futon talking about dream lives and cancers. He asks me about my ideal living situation, my ideal career, my ideals in general. I would be a turtle, I say. I would travel and have a home I could always go to, I could always be…
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1262 1 0
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Mr. Townsend is a normal guy. He's been on auto pilot a while. When he finally snaps out of it, he's surprised at what he finds.
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1262 3 3
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When he was 24 he ran away with a girl, forgot about his little office job in the city, went with her to the mountains, just the two of them, to live out a life of romance that a chalk box like the metropolis can’t give you—
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1262 0 0
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Do you think your mom would come out and take off her shirt, the way Brandi Chastain did the last time the U.S. women won the World’s Cup?
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1262 2 0
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I thought that was the last day of the world (when I floated up near your ceiling,) but it was the first. I thought I had seen the worst. But that was nothing. I know you had no idea what was coming when I first met you. But when we looked in each other
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1262 1 0
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Sometimes I think our gathering is a ritual centered on collective visualization. Other times I feel like I have been physically transported. I am not sure there is a difference.
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1261 2 2
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The rain falls soft after a hard weekend.
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1261 2 1
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“You take the woman, you get her records,” Dean said, and he didn't seem the least bit troubled by the Streisand album.
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