2802 30 15
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We met because I hate the actor Bruce Willis.
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2799 15 6
|
I had told myself that I would not cry. That I would hold on to my anger so tightly, there would be no space for pity.
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2795 3 2
|
Cary Grant wore women's panties. Not boxers, or even briefs. Panties. He said he wore them because they were more comfortable, according to “An Affair To Remember,“ a memoir written by one of his lovers. It gives you a whole new perspective on…
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2795 2 2
|
What if Walt Disney had himself turned into a cartoon?
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2793 10 6
|
It was Judge Fogarty who said “Thirty days in the market—take him away. Give him a good broom to sweep with—take him away.”
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2791 39 20
|
This morning, she woke to the banshee: “Individuals must get up early and put in a full day’s work in this economy!”
|
2788 0 0
|
In which Clint is sucked into a remarkably civilised but mildly deranged crime scene. There he encounters almost-blackmail, not-actually prostitution, probable-sex scandals, genuine-imposters & the very real theft of something incredibly important. Twice.
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2784 19 11
|
Nobody has been able to use the washer and dryer for over a month now. Our neighbors have gone laundry crazy. They've become suds-a-holics. They wash everything. If it isn't nailed down, they wash it. Outboard engines, peculiar feelings, dominatrix boots, metaphors,…
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2780 9 10
|
"This story isn’t about you, even if it seems as though it is."
|
2777 0 0
|
Early reviews of Barney’s Version (the film) had prepared me for finding the book’s most amusing attributes – particularly its skewering of Quebec nationalist politics and Canadian cultural nationalism – left out. After all, turning a 417-page account of
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2774 5 4
|
Last night Grandma got her walker stuck in the snow almost up to her tits. I feel the mark of a dutiful grandson is to come to her aid. And I always do. Even though she usually gets back home at 2 00 a.m. — or maybe 3 — sometimes she's late and we worry but I…
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2771 13 11
|
It’s so hard to get to know people these days. Even the social ones wall you out with politeness. Like jackknives with pearl handles in a display case.
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2770 0 1
|
The sky is orange and red. It’s getting dark out by the time Sophie goes inside to tell Mom. The colors of everything fade together and turn gray, even the grass and my pink bicycle.
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2766 9 9
|
I heard the worm
was interested
in the fat robin’s song.
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2763 26 22
|
This test should not be a riddle, it's a simple yes/no. The answer should settle curiosity with an image. One line or two, plus or minus. I say something like this, and the customer service rep asks me to hold.Thing is, I know the answer. I'm moody. My breasts feel like…
|
2762 98 33
|
We had them in our bunk beds in the trailer, before Becky fell and broke her neck.
|
2761 40 20
|
They lie down in the prairie grass and clutch each other, imagine dying under fat clouds.
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2760 40 27
|
Father makes sure the rum is safe, and still down, on his ass, he unscrews the top and takes a slug, and then a second one.
|
2759 35 18
|
She doesn’t notice the small group of women in saris, emerald and garnet, sapphire and citrine, the cloth covered with mirrors glinting in the light. Or how they link plump brown arms, frightened or delighted by the attention, huddled close, bird-like ch
|
2756 38 14
|
|
2754 37 30
|
Lupe says stealing is bad whether it's from a Baptist or a Catholic.
|
2754 4 1
|
The questions on the form are tough--the U.S. government isn't going to hand out money to just any old rapper hanging out on a corner. We want fresh 'n nasty stuff.
|
2753 25 20
|
The diagnosis was peculiar, the doctors agreed, / but so was the condition
|
2751 11 5
|
I weighted her so she would be suspended in the water. Sometimes late at night I would go down to the edge and listen to her bump against the filtration system. The sound she made was soft and low like a strange drum.
|
2750 14 9
|
‘Do you know that tables aren’t actually solid’ he said suddenly. ‘I mean there’s loads of space in the molecules that make up wood or whatever. The only reason we can’t push through them is because of the force.’
Nearby the Android called up his light
|
2746 23 4
|
There's an orangutan riding an elephant that spots a hound dog.
|
2740 11 9
|
So, as the lines on my face grow more pronounced, the lines on my finger prints are fading away?
All I can say is that it's a damn shame it's not the other way around.
|
2737 5 2
|
“I’ve gotta take a break from this,” Hector said. “I’m not feeling inspired right now. I’ve added about a thousand words. Why don’t you look it over and put your changes in?”
“I can do that,” said Martin. “Impressive! That brings us up to nearly sevent
|
2737 6 2
|
The first time we fucked my face was squashed between a seatbelt buckle and the right-side door.
|
2736 32 24
|
sorry I didn't inform you
(missing cap)
about my trip to Spain,
(comma splice)
|