1: Early Summer
The apartment building was nineteen stories tall with six identical faces, each presenting three rows of balconies with gleaming glass railing. It was one of five towers constructed on reclaimed marshland north of the city. The area had been too wet for development, but modern draining and construction techniques made the towers possible, creating much needed living space for the city. To make the overpriced apartments more attractive, a train line was built to the towers. Every day the trains transported the young and successful and the not so young and less successful who belonged to the five buildings.
Brandon Minamoto left the train station and started on the path to the honeycomb towers. The glare from the bright light and the steel surfaces of the station faded in the evening darkness. The serpentine footpath was lit by white, swan-necked lamps. Nocturnal insects flew up from the moist grass and into the artificial light. The sound from the motorway and the city was a distant song in the humid air.
He drew in the scent of mowed lawn in the park, exhaust fumes from the motorway and rotten water from the surrounding marsh. What a quiet and beautiful night! His body was soft and pliant, even his shoulders and neck, after a long day at work.
Steps of dark granite led up to glass doors framed in polished steel. The front and sides of the foyer were all glass. The granite in the stairs continued on the floor inside. The building admitted him with a sigh.
The foyer was empty. He only saw people there during rush hour in the morning. Then his neighbors looked faint and distant, as if they weren't real. The recessed lights in the ceiling illuminated the foyer with a golden light. All four elevator doors were open, their call panels shining green. Next to the elevators, a wide staircase led up into the building. He disliked the greedy gape of the stairs and turned away as he passed it. He entered the far left elevator and pressed button number eighteen.
The elevator opened to a long hallway in the east corner of the building. The floor had a burgundy carpet patterned with white and gold. The walls were as red as the carpet. White glass funnels cast a bright light into the ceiling and down onto the floor. He followed the hallway north. Behind the deep red walls, bodies were sleeping, dreaming. He found that knowledge very uncomfortable. His own bed stood along the outer wall instead of the corridor.
Last fall he had crossed the mountain massif north of the city on foot. It had felt like the stone and the sky cared about him. The sun warmed his back and the stiff mountain grass whispered when he waded through it, as if it knew he was there and appreciated his presence. He missed that kindness and awareness from the walls at home. But the dead glass and concrete couldn't afford what he wanted, so he remained disgusted by the bodies that dreamed too close.
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This is the first chapter of The Empty City, my long work.
The Empty City is about awakening to universal truths and one’s true self, told in short episodes that each describe a place, a dream, a question, a memory, a fantasy or an event.
More info and chapters here:
The Empty City
The book is out now in digital formats, including Nook and Kindle. Print version is forthcoming.
Beautifully written! Such clarity in the description of the atmosphere *
This makes me want to read on:
"The sun warmed his back and the stiff mountain grass whispered when he waded through it, as if it knew he was there and appreciated his presence. He missed that kindness and awareness from the walls at home. But the dead glass and concrete couldn't afford what he wanted, so he remained disgusted by the bodies that dreamed too close."
***
Thank you so much for the kind comment, Bobbie. :) I appreciate it a lot.
Great approach to details throughout, Berit.
"He drew in the scent of mowed lawn in the park, exhaust fumes from the motorway and rotten water from the surrounding marsh. What a quiet and beautiful night! His body was soft and pliant, even his shoulders and neck, after a long day at work."
Good writing. I like this piece.
Your reading and commenting means a lot to me, Sam. Thanks a lot! Glad to hear you like it. :)
Stunning.
*
Yes, very good descriptive writing, visually realized. Your final paragraph effectively places the scene in dramatic perspective. I'm wondering if your character's attitude were introduced earlier in the story if it might add even more drama to your opening descriptions.
interesting. i enjoyed this. i like the alternating paragraph format, the movement from exterior to interior they permit you to do here. keeps a description of an apartment block away from getting too j.g. ballard...for some reason i almost immediately thought of "high rise" when i started reading it but was pleased to encounter an entirely different space and feel straight away. interested in reading more. look forward to the print version.
@ Susan:
Thank you so much for the positive comment! I'm very glad to hear you like it. :)
@ J. Mykel:
Thanks a lot for suggesting that. I think I considered it and then the idea vanished before I could test it out. I forgot to play, and it grew maybe overly serious.
@ Stephen:
Thank you very much for reading and commenting! Glad to hear you liked the exterior and the interior, for me its much the same, that's why I indulge in my addiction to descriptions! :) You're right, it is a high rise, but maybe more organic than JG Ballard's landscapes (which scare me).
You do such a great of creating settings that I feel like I'm walking through them and experiencing them, rather than simply seeing them. Looking forward to getting my own copy of The Empty City soon. *
Lovely prose with the internal and external explored. Your use of language and word choices are stunning, hypnotic, unusual. Makes me yearn for more.
Fave.
@ Greg:
Very glad to hear the descriptions work to create the setting. :)
Hope to have the print version out soon, very soon. :)
@ Robert
Thank you so much for the fave and the positive feedback! :)
There is a reason for spending so much time on the descriptions. :)
i also want to read on after this—"But the dead glass and concrete couldn't afford what he wanted, so he remained disgusted by the bodies that dreamed too close." the city as a fjordscape, as brainland and dreamplace. beautifully written.
Thank you so much for the positive comment, Marcus! I appreciate it a lot.
Everything is a "fjordscape, brainland and dreamplace" for me. That's why the story is not set in any specific country or city.