1326 16 7
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He wears an old black tux, shiny at the elbows, and his gray hair has been styled and sprayed into a fragile tornado. On his lap sits a Chihuahua wearing a bridal outfit—veil and all.
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173673
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Like all professors, I'm required to maintain office hours to help my students so I'm at my desk every fourth Tuesday of months without an "r" in them from 10:30 to 11:00 p.m.
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115485
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For you I bring the circus, I reinvent
the shine
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130765
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When I first started out in my working career, I made it the habit of obtaining jobs with companies that were about to go under. (I wrote more books while on unemployment than by any other method.) I was a real bloodhound at sniffing out the pre-dawn od
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117254
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I had the idea for a pageant for my obedience school at spring graduation
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1176107
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"But is it politically correct?" he asked. "Oh, yes," said Hank. "It's all the rage."
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108710
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Talking to Shakespeare by the riverside,
I am saddened by my lust for women,
how my eyes fixate on the spit that passes from top to bottom lip as they talk to me.
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101221
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The sky was dressed in a wedding gown. The hooves of my horse clicked like consonants on the stone of the butte.
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141575
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A performance is a series of situations. Each situation defines the characters that are in it.
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99320
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I've done the math, it didn't count. All the days and years of endless boredom. Of waiting for the next best thing, trapped inside your mind like a lifetime prison sentence. Maybe one day we'll be free, maybe one day we won't feel so oppressed. But when does that day…
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114198
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Pinesatz is standing again. He and Marie seem unaware of time, unaware that Louane is watching them, unaware of waiting for Wendy with the car. Every glance is a hook. Every gleam is a glance. Every stanza is a room. She vies for it.
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113953
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1) be awake2) wear clothes1a) get out of beda1) go to bed the night before6) put a smile on her face, but not too smiley6a) maintain precisely calculated level of irony and derision in a just kidding (not kidding!) manner suited to responses of the enemy6aia) normal words,…
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110932
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I've been in Tucson two days, and so far most of my conversations with my father have taken place while I crane my neck and squint into the sun. I scream up, he screams down.
He needs to fix the leaky roof before the rainy season, he says.
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144500
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“He's the one who took five tries to find your vein during your last blood draw, right?” This question spilled from the row of twenty EKG machines that now made up the hospital building's larynx
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144483
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45s I’ve kept wrapped in newspaper in the attic. These are all mine. Some doubling up in sleeves. Some pushing tears in the seams.
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86100
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Muslim factions are getting a helping hand to bridge the gap that has divided Shiites from Sunnis since Mohammed died--a new version of the Peace Corps that uses recreational metal detection to build friendship.
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136441
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“There’s cheap land at Cudlee Creek perfect for breeding long-haired rabbits,” he added. “They can’t jump high so fencing costs are low.”
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1291118
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I was sleeping the night of a hurricane party. I awoke to lightning flashes. They lit the undersides of descending clouds, and lit the shadows of scattering dancers. The hurricane must have turned inland.
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108965
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Ours is but the very small effort being made here.But it's a good enough keeper for all of usto always remember off. All the tins thataren't really going to save usfrom starving, now are neatly arranged all around, justin case, stacked…
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1844118
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She was a moon dancer, keeper of secrets,
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145064
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When I was 17, they said in an e-mail that you would get too drunk to function and that you would abuse them, verbally, and do way more than embarrass them in public. They said you'd yell at them and hit their mom for any reason. They put a restraining order on you.…
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88811
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Behind me are two doors. Each opens onto a room which is more event than space.
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83820
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Bring me your poor, your tired, your hungry
anyone skilled at evading highway tolls
Bring me your escape artists dangling upside down
in a straight-jacket from the sides of tall buildings
Don’t let them starve in the prisons of the world
Bri
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1606157
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the boredom inherent in living in the suburbs
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138011
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"John is going to love it when he finds out that it pees," Bobby said. Kelly laughed and dropped a towel on the floor.
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89400
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The yellowed and peeling posters of men and women with grotesque disfigurements under the slogan, “Know Your Criminals!” that peered down at him from the walls were a familiar sight. Everyone knew that people with faces like that were as monstrous as they looked…
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103398
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decline the proffered hand
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85911
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We’ve been married for 24.1667 years now and–well–my wife was starting to remind me of a public building. The Registry of Motor Vehicles, to be precise.
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121566
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We cook over the fireplace on these days, blacken marshmallows on straightened hangers, like Eskimos, dogs around a campfire.
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114700
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You know when you’re in church and your older brother does something funny and you’re laughing and your dad grabs your elbow to make you shut up, but that’s even funnier still and you keep laughing and you know you shouldn’t be laughing because you’re in
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