before i lived in the sky
by Rene Foran
before i lived in the sky
all my pinings i did cease
it shaped my wings for goodbye
needed not much to get by
i built a house in the trees
before i lived in the sky
viewed life with a seeing eye
and was humbled to my knees
it shaped my wings for goodbye
changed a breath into a sigh
threw all haltings to the breeze
before i lived in the sky
at dawn's last break i did cry
tears of freedom and release
it shaped my wings for goodbye
wings were meant for us to fly
and with this i must make peace
before i lived in the sky
it shaped my wings for goodbye
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Neat villanelle. Great refrain.
I like it all except "t'was there i met joy's bright eye." Make more conversational? less abstract?
I have no villanelles. Thank you Rene, winged celestial muse, for sharing. *
Thanks Bill. This was my first attempt at writing a villanelle I found it difficult and a bit restraining. Oy the rhyming...you had better love your first stanza :)
Aww, thanks Frank. And I barely have villanelle :)
Now this is good.