by Rene Foran
we walked together
me and Jimmy
down dat dirt road
to Sugarfoot Pond
holdin' hands
not sayin' nuthin
jus walkin'
and lookin' at the ground and such
my heart was beatin' hard
i could feel it in my hand
at least i think it was my heart
it was hard tellin' if it were mine or Jimmy's
den a bird started makin' some racket
and Jimmy say, hush up, you crazy bird!
and den dat bird, it stopped yappin'
just like dat
i say, why you do that, Jimmy?
why you tell dat bird to hush?
and he say
i was jus countin' your heartbeats, Emmie
and you know what?
i think they's the same as mine!
i laughed at Jimmy
but he was real serious lookin'
and so den
i started lookin' real serious at him right back
and den dat Jimmy
he starts squawkin' real loud
jus like dat crazy ol' bird
and so went squawkin' together
down that dirt road
not doin' nuthin'
but squawkin'
all the way down
to Sugarfoot Pond
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this piece was inspired by Loraine, a student of mine, and the musical way in which she spoke of both the ordinary and the wonderful.
I am such a sucker for dialect. This one's consistent, well portrayed, friendly, familiar.
thank you, James. I am glad you enjoyed it.
Rene
Rene, I love the inspiration behind this piece, and the way ordinary can be so wonderful. This is so sweet and real.
“i was jus countin' your heartbeats, Emmie
and you know what?
i think they's the same as mine!”
Down-home good! I very much enjoyed your poem, Rene. *.
Thank you Frank.
I appreciate you coming by...mighty neighborly of ya :)
Rene
Missed this one. Nice!
dis be sho' nuff good, shoot yeah.
Love the voice in this, the pacing, and the sentiment.
Fave. With JLD above, dialect done as well as you have here combined with a poet's sensibility gets me every time. Like you just did.
nice, nice, and more than nice
Sweet tale of young love.
I'm thinking Sissy Spacek.
i really love this. so warm and real... great work rene!!
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