Most read stories

“What will I do if I run out of stories,” she asked?

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You better not come home drunk, you shithead, or you'll be sleeping in the yard!

Intermezzo

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Outside, Santa Claus has put on cat eye sunglasses and lights a cigarette.

Go Ahead, Be the Opposite of Love

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"Living is easy with eyes closed/misunderstanding all you see.'--John Lennon That's an ache that's always inside me. How you'd rathertreat people as if they don't matteras much as some nice sounding words in a song. Their voicesas less than an annoying wind? Because…

Puppet X, 5

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A man learns too late How small deer laugh It’s true When a man goes mad Ropes come down from the clouds He cannot be sure of anything Anything The way’s uncharmed He thinks someone else’s strange thoughts And it all seems a simple

The Second Vulture Has Landed and It's Wearing Patagonia

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The first vulture became very aggressive and began eating carry-on luggage The second vulture has landed and it’s wearing Patagonia

Entering Massachusetts: Please Don't Hug the Republicans

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I omit the names not to protect the innocent--there aren't any--but because you've got better things to think about in the run-up to the Super Bowl, like does anybody ever pull Troy Polamalu's hair in a pile-up?

No Wind

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The candle was near the windowsill.It smelled like the musk my father used to spray before he went awayto work.Oh father, I remember you,your chocolate brown eyes,would watch the sunrisebefore breakfast;serious- so serious and waiting for something that…

The Garage

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My life accelerated by grime in my father’s garage.

The Guidance Counselor

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He’d see them for fifteen minutes at a time, juniors and seniors, all day long. On their way out of the little town he’d come back to.

The Secondhand Life of Uncle Ray

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Between chapters, he trained my dog, Buster. He taught him to fetch bottle caps, roll over for no reason, and to play dead whenever someone raised their voice

Mamas Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Writers

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If you want a nice meal, writers take you to diners. They’re thinkin’ noirly, you want something finer.

Just Another Plebian — Err, Philistine!

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I hate your guts.

Trapping for Poetesses

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So many ingenious traps for catching and hamstringing female poets have been invented that it is a rare editor who ever really sees one. H.L. Mencken

Remember the Albatross Around Your Neck Was Once Your Choice of Ocean

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All haters have small ducks for brains. Look. We came here to do a job, to make a beautiful thing rise up, sprouting like the new moon out of a harsh sunlight blaring off concrete, to blast a…

You Were On Top of Us Freely

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You turned to the beautiful youth because we were light, because we were so full of life that our skin alone could not seem to contain us. We were burning on all sides for the world. Shade, shadow — nothing. Nothing the moon. You lifted the cloth and peer

All of My Facebook Friends Are Gonna Be Strangers

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I once knew a guy named Ian from Manhattan Who liked looking at New Yorker fey cartoons.

Masters

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"... he with much to teach, I who had much to learn..."

What We Have Now

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Who was that human who first began to walk on two legs as he crossed golden African plains?

Must've Done Something, Right?

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I hope you’re happy, she said. Fucker!

The Dingos Took Your Baby? So What--the Coyotes Ate My Cat

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Coyotes are like the French Resistance in Casablanca. If you kill them, hundreds--thousands!--rise to take their place.

With Egypt in Crisis, Biden Seeks Access to Intelligence Briefings

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"The President feels that Joe's talents are best used elsewhere," said White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs. "We had a lot of take-out orders to keep straight with everybody working late."

The Strangest Touch is Skin on Skin

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Whitman touched his share of skin and didn’t think of it as sin, and yet could bring himself to say “What is more or less than a touch?”

What's Wrong with the World

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Everything's inflatable. Here we go. It's all plastic. Give it a rest, kid.You could say that I just want to enjoy nothing for now. But. Let's go ahead and buy into its precisely sealed with a rubber stamped kiss kind of survival rate statistic for…

The Sweet Need to Dream

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We all ache for the Purple storm that’s said to Smear its finger in the one True place our soul resides On the road to delicate love Rising in the summer blood And the raw shadows Behind lust make a woman Heave in the Garden While lis

Freedonian Nights Ring With Songs of Bitchiness

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By day, Ksiusha Milda is a housewife with a one year-old daughter. By night, she is a blues singer of sorts, a practitioner of this country’s traditional folk song, kale.

Beaked

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night sounds

(girls in their summer dresses)

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The life, the burning up that works up our loveliness, hot under the surface that is tempted to show forth its parts after being confined, enclosed, shut in. Beautiful honey-water sliding out of long bleak skies, after all the howling of our legendary you

Post-Revolutionary Sports Boredom

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It isn’t easy being the #1 Jewish lesbian revolutionary bank robber in America–every Rebecca and Rachel who comes down the pike tries to knock you off.

Things Inside of Other Things

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Determined to make this Thanksgiving more special than the last, she ponders long on how to create a chiduckey.

The Solipsistic Lady Novelist

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“I’m haunted,” she says, “by so many things–earth shoes, amulets, seventies mood rings.”