Ever had the occasion to wake up look at your watch and see it's five-thirty in the morning — after sleeping on the couch all night? Ever then gone to take a leak, trudged down the hall, cracked your bedroom door to check on your wife and found a portly, balding man…

These are the three facts of my life.

Everybody will be talking about it on campuses across the country “Hey! You’ll never guess who’s toilet I bought. I’m not shitting you!”

The were two things and two things only in the town of Comfort, Alabama, that were older than Bella.

Older than a star I am

The problem with drinking gin in the desert is that eventually there is no more gin but the desert is still there.

She positioned the mouse cursor over the word Bikini and double clicked. The hard drive of the ageing work PC chugged into life as an Excel document dragged itself onto the screen.

The girls of spring, they’ll stop your heart When they forsake cosmetic art They practiced back when skies were grey and clouds obscured the light of day.

I arrange 15 restatements of how lovely you are forward then backward, horizontally then vertically then along the diagonals.

She loves you when your words leave her dirty, semi-transparent, at times, overexposed.

But there it was, amid the “junk” set to be thrown out with the rest of his childhood, opened accidentally to the page of his Indiana Jones Action Journal about his winter formal when he was sixteen.

the warnings we fear are the selfsame ones of ourselves of our vertical need to be first to the heights redoubling its intractable charm of production— our inheritance.

she had a chipped tooth...

In the blur she met Joseph. Joseph was the priest who lived in the attic of the church. She met him after she grew boobs and thighs that moved like dragonflies soaring above ponds.

The pit of my stomach was bottoming out, this lurching sort-of feeling one experiences when one has coasted WELL OVER an abyss and has no way of finding one's bearings . . .