The New Girl
by Fred Osuna
She's new, with the enthusiasm of a new person. And everyone wants the new girl, at least they do at first.
It takes thirteen even sweeps to clear all the hair from beneath her chair. She's averaged it. It's sometimes as few as six. She has a lot of time to figure that out now, but most days there's very little hair. That hippie dude she gave a buzz cut to? His hair was everywhere. That was a good 27 sweeps.
The hippie came back in this week. He asked for Madeleine. The new girl stood alone at her station watching them, and she knew they were talking about her. I mean, at one point they both turned in her direction and the former hippie dude said her name. “The new girl,” he said. She smiled at them and they turned away and kept talking.
She's gonna get a new job. She'll be the best at it. She'll be the only one at the drive-thru that says “please,” “thank you” and “ma'am.” She'll get promoted to assistant manager, you just wait and see.
I especially like the opening of this Fred because "everyone wants the new girl, at least they do at first" rings so true that it almost doesn't matter the context. And then it develops in a really interesting and unexpected way.
I felt sorry for the new girl. I wanted to help her bust out. The world described here is of a piece and it feels like the narrator is one who is already tired of her. To me, it has a deterministic sense to it. I'm on the bubble about it. Wish it didn't sound so much like a version of me, ha. And that's what it's really all about, me, me, me. No, this is good, I thought.
Tough, hard truths, a tough world sparsely depicted. Reminded me of Patricia Highsmith's shortest works, her stories of seemingly countless, faceless, sometimes nameless "throwaway" women who are lost and forgotten and cast aside. -- Q
Yes, to that opening line... and I agree with Jane, such a strong opening line, the reader will follow it anywhere.
Thanks for the comments about this story, Jane and Cherise. I'm glad that opening hooked you.
Thanks, also, Quenby. I'm glad this story made an impression on you. I see where you're coming from re. sadness and determinism. I see the new girl as being quite optimistic, even though her abilities are somewhat limited. I think there's a good place for her somewhere in the world. And I intended the narrator to be a bit of a cheerleader for her, as he/she seems to share her physical POV (scene with Madeleine). It interests me that you read it with a different twist. Thanks for giving it such consideration!