Most read stories

Upstairs on Montague Street

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Benton showed her his old room, a shrine of old posters and records. But it had been cleaned out, made to look like a guest room. “Kiss me,” Benton said. “April.” “That was just a name, so don't get any…

WANT A JEW TO FALL FOR YOU? TRY THESE FUNNY PICK-UP LINES.

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KOSHER PORN is a new collection of funny pick-up lines just for Jews, written by humorist Sarah Rosen, and illustrated with photos by Tom Stokes. It's based on Rosen's popular dating blog, Porn4Jews. And it's hilarious. Rosen started her blog after a year and a…

Badface Investigates - Fighting

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I’m lying on the floor curled up in the foetal position and about six people are stamping on me. [...] It’s really confusing down here, what with all the kicking.

Monkey House

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We walked into the light where tired elephants slung their trunks and big cats moved over hills. My head was swollen, the whole back of my skull throbbing and black.

The Kennedys

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Noah's diagnosis takes several years. A doctor from North Carolina reading his case dubs the condition Bootlegger’s Syndrome.

i found this.

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Home is where my parents live and my relatives visit.

A Bitter And Unseasoned Business Attorney Makes His Case That "Crazy Heart" Is The Perfectly Nasty Ending

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In closing, Your Honor:After the interview Bad Blake, a/k/a "Otis" takes "Miss" Jane Craddock back to his hotel, ties her up, and gives her a Cleveland Steamer. For reference, please refer to my Brief, Exhibit A, showing a thespian named Ronald Jeremy…

{Fog}

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Sometimes it waited after dark, when everyone was asleep, and moved in slowly like a thief, working its way into all the ruwas, up everyone's nostrils, seemingly intent on making the people's mountain existence a troublesome one

Slight of Hand

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Our ironies don’t make us happy

Darwin at the Zoo

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This year we have no need of spring!

Personal Hell - I'm Not Scared, Just Disappointed

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Satan is a wide-eyed Pollyanna mime who communicates with a ventriloquist dummy that corrects my grammar, speaks in internet acronyms, tells me that I’d be a lot prettier if I just smiled more and lost fifteen pounds, and nags me about how all my problems

Klarheit oder Genug

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F.B.I. then or: "I said later 'for a boob job' and imagined her, a public lawyer, wandering Arizona on foot unable to hide a Playboy-Mansion style rack."

The Dream Shop

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From nine at night until five in the morningthe mannequins staff the Dream Shop.Customers sleepwalk in and murmur their enquiries.Some of the patrons are very demanding.They queue outside before opening…

Serving

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patience is....

'MY DICK IS SO HARD FOR JESUS!' by Christofascist Jones

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"Now, I'm not no Holocaust Denier . . . I just think it was a little bump in the road! Like Reagan said about Watergate . . . 'Mistakes were made,' and all. Well, shoot . . .…

The Metope Prophecy

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When his brown eyes met the lapis colored stones representing hers, she leaned forward from her exalted position and whispered to him, “Save me.”

Time Flies

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Time has wings. They are bright and beautiful, like those of a butterfly. They are delicate wings, and they carry the years away from my decaying mind. I would break those wings if I could, for tomorrow I turn seventy-three, and I grow weary of their ince

last light

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whisper to me

WAR STORY

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We shot out the windows of an abandoned building nearby so as to trick them into thinking we’d had snipers stationed in that building. They shot at the abandoned building.

Not real words about a not real place

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I'm going up and down elevators all over the Financial District and I have no office.

The Secret

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Of course then I did it all over again. Got married, that is. Fortunately, this one worked out.

The Light After Equinox

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Soon enough, October’s ragged/ lawn will hide its deficiencies// under withered leaves of oak,

Wolves at the Door

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“Little Pig, Little Pig, Let me in.” One of them yelled out from behind the door. The wolves always loved to taunt him, itched for any chance they could get to fight.

Neither star nor killer

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I am fantasy

Crack in the Cosmos

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There’s a crack in the cosmos, and pink is leaking through. There’s a crack in the cosmos, fix the sink, the toilet leak. There are many cracks in the cosmos, numerous. This is how time escapes. Good grief, they’re going to suck the cream

The Baby With Monster Truck Wheels

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Somebody needs to call Frank. The pediatrician who fixes cars on the side.

Jagged Dog Story

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But I had learned from ingesting Roberto’s glitter-eyed fear, it could make you never close enough, and then, never far enough away. And both at the same time.

Our Closet

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I was enchanted with the suppleness and intensity of her movement and slowly edged to hide myself askew from the jam as not to disturb her.

The Land Collector

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He liked owning acreage.

Marilyn Monroe, Frank Sinatra and A Nice Hot Bath: What I Learned From Magazines This Week

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Actress Rita Moreno wakes up humming.People (5/1/17)Riding a roller coaster with your partner makes you more attractive to each other. People (5/1/17)The image on the commemorative stamp the Central African Republic recently issued to honor film legend Marilyn Monroe…