1737 4 1
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In closing, Your Honor:After the interview Bad Blake, a/k/a "Otis" takes "Miss" Jane Craddock back to his hotel, ties her up, and gives her a Cleveland Steamer. For reference, please refer to my Brief, Exhibit A, showing a thespian named Ronald Jeremy…
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1737117
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Lucky for mama, he doesn't like for his women to work.
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173611
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writing because it's the only drug i havesick on sadnessas the weight of the moment crumbling around me comes down some sweet second inspires…
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1736116
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You treat them like I’m hungry.
Fix it.
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173631
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I suggested a threesome for her birthday. In jest, I thought. But here we are; me in my checkered Oxford, Katie in her red silk blouse, as planned. We're at this sushi place at the corner of 9th and Bentham. “Zuma.” I hate this restaurant, to tell you the…
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173642
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when down the street/ a female cat/ yowls with the force/ of a red light blazing/ in an alley.
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173632
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He took the car out into the middle of Nowhere, Mexico, and drove it at top speed, off-road for a day and a night. I am talking strut-breaking, axle-wrecking, wheel-bending, paint-peeling conditions and balls-to-the-wall, testosterone-drunk driving.
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173672
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She had liked her new husband's sternness, and the way he ran his hands over her body, noticed every inch of it, made her feel not invisible.He traveled during the week, wore cufflinks, worked out in hotel gyms. On the weekends, they redecorated her house and tried to…
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173654
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It’s like drawing with Cesium
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173610
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I’m lying on the floor curled up in the foetal position and about six people are stamping on me. [...] It’s really confusing down here, what with all the kicking.
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173600
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If you wanted to retain the ownership of said works, then you should not have died.
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173644
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Then dared each other to travel
Much further
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173622
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“You own your own burial plot, but you don't own your home,” he'd said, and I couldn't help but agree.
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173621
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Bake sweet rolls and make love to your new wife, fall asleep for three years and grow a beard.
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173696
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He brought me kisses from New York.
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173640
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"As the thing lurches upright, I can see now that it is an old woman with snake eyes… a dead old woman with snake eyes and peeling flesh. She is putrid and maggoty. She is coming right at us. She is my mother."
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173563
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The camera moves slowly around the interior of a building inhabited by books.
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17351211
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and watch the bird play and squirrel play/
and the twitching of cottontail noses
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1735106
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If you're a Boomer, your brain is teaming with decades-old Pop tunes that you just can't forget. The real reason you can never remember where you put your keys? Too many of your brain cells are clinging to every last lyric to “Fire and Rain,” “Free…
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173566
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Man, I'm not feeling so happy anymore. I tried to tackle my money but it slipped past me and ran out the door. I don't have a clue what to do. I'm hungry and I can't be worrying about you while both of us are trying to snag the same pair of…
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173544
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I call him a Staffordshire terrier. You call him a pit bull. Some people say he's lovable. Other people say he'll bite your face off without thinking too hard.
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173500
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Rosey streaks through the city, dragging a flooded umbrella.
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173585
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“Hey, Buddy,” he says finally, “you were supposed to make a right back there”, and I can see his eyes flash as he reads my ID card on the dash...
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173530
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You see the ocean for the first time on our honeymoon. Your large feet dig deep into the muddy sands of the Maryland coastline as your blue eyes swell at the infinite water before you. I wrap my…
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173554
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Time has wings. They are bright and beautiful, like those of a butterfly. They are delicate wings, and they carry the years away from my decaying mind. I would break those wings if I could, for tomorrow I turn seventy-three, and I grow weary of their ince
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173532
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KOSHER PORN is a new collection of funny pick-up lines just for Jews, written by humorist Sarah Rosen, and illustrated with photos by Tom Stokes. It's based on Rosen's popular dating blog, Porn4Jews. And it's hilarious. Rosen started her blog after a year and a…
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173580
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I remember the man well, though he didn't notice me.Even though a million tiny things happened to cause his hand to brush me away from his neck, he didn't notice. Much like the way his eyes bounced off women's bodies as he hurried down the sidewalk in his blue wool…
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173541
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Rye goods
* Cracker brot: best practices
* Recipes: never embellish!
* Boughten: what to avoid
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1735126
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It's 100 degrees in your tower/and that braid you're so proud of/is one hot ladder to nowhere.
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173442
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There existed within them the deeper perdition, of course, the perdition of culture, American culture, the 21st Century suburban version, made up of Strip Malls From Hell.
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