Some mornings, though, I stand on the step and wonder what I'm supposed to do.
I have done everything and locked the door behind me.
I lock my wife in the house.
This is so that when she comes to drive me out, she will first need to unlock the door.
In this way, I know she will find my keys and bring them to me.
In this way, I know I can re-enter later.
This, accomplished, I know not what to do.
The thing is that I use her keys to start the car, to warm the engine.
Then when I hop out at the office, her still driving, she is left with her own keys.
And I don't know how long it will be until she comes outside and figures it all out.
Figures me out.
I can negotiate this departure so that I don't leave my keys, but when I'm done I stand there confused.
I see that there is a lot of trash along the curb, and I could turn off the car, unlock the door, return to that unlit vault.
Fetch the broom and sweep up the trash.
The broom has been used to this end so often that there is no end. All of the bristles have broken off.
Look, a ratty clump of straw at the bottom of a pole.
Then she comes out and hands me my keys.
For now, we're going to work.
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Unpublished, this is an old story I found on my harddrive.
I'm surprised to see that I write about relationships, about he's and she's.
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hey adam:
i wish i found stuff like this on my hard drive.
great line -- cool take on perspective:
"i lock my wife in the house."
you should write about he's and she's more often. you do it well.
Wow, awesome, thanks Lauren. You made my first posting here a very positive experience.
welcome adam! thanks for the great words. looking forward to seeing more!
Adam, I really like this. I love the image of her having to find the keys and hand them to the narrator.
The shift in pov to "look" works well, making the reader see it, become more involved.
The last line is great.
Great first post. Hope this one finds a home. And, yeah, I wish I found stuff like this on my hard drive.
This is really good. I love the voice, the language here. I love the first sentence.
This is really good. I love the voice, the language here. I love the first sentence.
I love the staccato of this, the quality of the sentences. *cough*Submit*cough* Nice work.
Oh cool, oh cool. Thanks Dave and Kathy and Roxane.
wow. I was just blathering with roxane about how the very short form resuscitates domestic subjects in fiction. I was thinking of katrina denza, but this does the trick as well. sweet work.
write new stuff now.
Absolutely one of the most interesting pieces i've read. Such immediacy, great work.
Thank you, Meg, for the high praise.