Bitter Love Story
I had an insane dog who followed me from room to room, stared at me with love, bit the faces of children, and died.
At the vet they let me hold her remains, all floppy. That's the last I can remember of Thunder — the dogneck gave no support and the doghead lolled over my arm.
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Author's Note
This story had been 475 words.
Other stories by Adam Robinson
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The title really makes this. It would be really interesting to contrast the 475 word version. Is the same story being told? I really enjoyed this Adam, particularly the image of the last line and the phrasing.
Such a visceral tenderness.
The title makes this and dogneck and doghead lend a freshness to the language without getting all poetic. I also would love to see the longer version, posted along with this.
Thanks Roxane, Cami and Kathy. I was wondering if the title would work, so I appreciate your comments!
I'm going to post the longer version.
so much good here - here's the twitter/elimae dude's slimmer take -
Thunder
She followed me whereever, stared with love, bit the faces of children, collapsed.
The vet let me hold her remains, all floppy. The dogneck gave no support. The doghead lolled over my arm.
Loved your version but thougtht I'd play a bit, not a damn thing myself today.
re last para, meant not writing a damn thing today.
Yeah, I figured that. Thanks Dave. I like your version better for its ease, immediacy, and how it doesn't identify the dog. It's funny, getting hung up on lines in my head and then seeing it differently all of the sudden. Nice.
cool, adam, thanks, and good post about f-naut on htmlgiant - important question
i often wonder what i'm doing here so much