1756 2 2
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you are the most uptight pansy I have ever met
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175665
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Nor woke, as always, to a dark room smelling of the lavender she kept in little bottles to perfume the otherwise stank air. Outside, she could still see the edge of the moon hanging there like a lopsided smile. The early summer wind blew in and stirred the faded floral…
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175600
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They stride the earth of their own accord, knocking down bridges, buildings— obliterating whole towns with each pendulous swing...
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175621
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“We’re on our way to gold country to find the American Dream.” No point in mentioning the huge prairie dogs, the ones swarming and screeching beneath the horses in their Hell’s Angel gear and Nixon masks.
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1756159
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175600
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It was where the “Suits” worked. I didn’t want to go there, I didn’t want to be there, but in those days one did what one was supposed to do.
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175697
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You could hear her coming from a long way off
as she kept trying to catch her breath,
like she was getting the fun rattled out of her bones.
But it was laughter, laughter that kept on
filling up her belly from the inside,
and she was having tr
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175511
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[CAUTION: IF YOU ARE UNDULY "FIXATED" ON GOD, AMERICA, MOM, APPLE PIE, AND/OR BASEBALL ... YOU MAY WANT TO AVERT YOUR EYES!]
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175522
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The old man had always known things, was feared and revered up and down the valley for knowing things. I’d heard the stories since the day I was born.
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175576
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Brody was standing against the wall with one hand in his hip pocket, as if he was holding a gun. The motel was set in the undergrowth of several weedy small towns, but a flashing neon sign made it impossible to miss from the road. We used it as a safe hou
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175542
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The villagers smash in a garage door with their heads, causing some to bleed from the ears and mouth.
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175500
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She says he is not a real person. He says he doesn't understand. And that she should be with the dudes who want to be her boyfriend.
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175563
|
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17551512
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Effie reckons the river her sister keeps asking about, the Great Pee Dee, was named after some Indians.
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175532
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"Pull around," Rachel says. "Pull around him, dammit."
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1755119
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If you find a nickel-plated Colt .38 lying on top of a worn copy of King Lear, you’ll know who you’re dealing with.
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175577
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can they approve, our/gods in our wallets? only/when we tell them to.
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175599
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Our Irish tradition is rich in Yeats, drenched in Bushmills.
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175510
|
I lie on the floor of the hut and for some reason I start to think about the Harvest Days carnival and that game where you have to toss a dime in a dish to win a stuffed animal. Next thing you know I’m a little tiny guy in there in that world of plates
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17551311
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I tried to talk, but only / whispers slithered out.
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175511
|
By: Roz Warren (and Janet Golden)I'm a humor writer. My work appears in publications from The Funny Times to The New York Times. Janet is a history professor whose writing was confined to academic journals and the occasional op-ed. Driving back from the Jersey shore one…
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17551717
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I was out of my element. I was on property that wasn't mine. In a woods with mansions tucked away among the trees.
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1755155
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I thought, what are we talking about? Botox?
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175500
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I was headed back inside my den since these creeps just wouldn’t stop and thought they were the most hilarious creatures on the face of the earth, and I was afraid, to be honest, that one of their missiles might hit me in the eye. That’s when I n
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175498
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When the sun was above the treeline, and the hunter returned to the cabin, they were ready for him.
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175411
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There is no Vinny’s Liquor store as far as she can tell. She begins to think there is something odd, that people are jerking her chain, sending her on a fruitless mission. It feels familiar, like sorority hell week. Maybe there is no liquor store at al
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175400
|
A brief novel excerpt featuring two characters breaking out in song, with lines like 'Arabian knights dance sheikh to sheikh.'
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1754148
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...painted by my mother with meticulous attention...
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1754137
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That year, if you asked Al, was truly the best of times, the worst of times.
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175441
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Andrew smiled at her while he pulled out his penis. He then held it between his fingers and tugged at it, stretching it much like a rubber band
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