1787 22 14
|
The night we crossed the Madres my father stuffed his Stetson full of cash.
|
178730
|
If I was a bum
I’d risk everything
for a drink or a smoke
I would beg and curse and steal
if I was a bum
If I was a bum
I would cuss out the Pope
I would not vote for anyone
because I would know truly
they’d be telling gross lies
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17861710
|
Some idiot was gonna let a snake eat him. I know, but I saw it on the internets. That's some dumb-assed stuff right there. Everyone knows about snakes. The Jesus book tells us all about them, inside us, slithering through ruby-red and eating our guilt from inside out.…
|
17861915
|
“What does the future hold?”
|
178622
|
I got to Victoria station at quarter to eleven on a Friday with nothing but a small leather bag and the vague idea of getting out of London.
|
178631
|
The Happy Bunny Family had a secret: They weren't very happy.Everyone in town knew it, but of course no one said anything. Mr. Happy Bunny would stroll through the center of town on his way to work and people would smile and nod and wish him a good day and he would return…
|
178600
|
...It's my advice that this Fourth of July the Office of Homeland Security post the following instructions on your web site www.Ready.gov — people should act like my dog Lucy and just stay inside under the bed and tremble...
|
178500
|
The tsunami started, ironically enough, with a phone call.
|
17852117
|
After breakfast, he dresses and heads / for the blackjack tables.
|
178521
|
He’d been wishing for months that he’d bought a retro clothing store. He would have called it HARRY’S HOARY HOSERRY. He would have met a better class of women.
|
178532
|
“Why is it that you give a woman a bit of power and she turns into a man” said a new intern from the copying room “You can hear her balls rubbing on the carpet as she walks”
|
178533
|
Don't feed it to the dog, it has bones, it is a whole goddamn chicken in a can, and I can't stress that enough. Besides one year you gave me a toilet seat for Christmas. I couldn't even eat that Ky
|
17841311
|
**I think Bridgestone Tire borrowed this story for a commercial. Maybe not, see video and decide.**
|
178498
|
In the beginning the revolution was all motion and energy. When the President for Life resigned motion and energy disappeared with the sounds of clapping hands.
|
17841311
|
The hair on my arms have greyed, or so that's how it looks to me. It's been 12 years since we last spoke. I think I haven't aged too well. I bought a rocking chair.
|
17842719
|
|
178474
|
“Lunge to your right,” the woman on the screen instructs. She is easily six-months pregnant but still looks fit and healthy. “Now show off your baby.” She centers herself, splays her arms, and thrusts her belly out towards us. “Lunge to the left. Now show
|
178482
|
My piano tutor, a walnut-faced shrew, rapped my knuckles with her small plastic baton to smack them back into the proper tempo, an adagio I’d mastered weeks before. One hour until the audition and damn if this woman didn’t break the skin of two of my fing
|
178400
|
you choose to be mine
when you take hold of my hand -
silently, i'm yours
|
178400
|
I can barely feel the blade as it first goes in. I'm pleasantly surprised. But as she drags the knife across my skin the pain increases becoming more and more painful rising to a point of unbearable agony the further she cuts.
|
178400
|
It is suddenly very cold. Mon opens his eye. He sees fog, the ground. A skeletal tree. Where am I? he thinks. ... Mon listens. He can hear distant noises through the fog: laughter, …
|
178366
|
When she finally arrived it was like a cello playing inside me
|
17831511
|
Here they come, those witnesses.
|
17831110
|
Your boredoms are not my fascinations. Your boredoms Belong to the ice caves with the Mammoths, Although haven't they been tortured enough by the Changing winds? Your boredoms are far from twinkling Objects in the beaks of ancient crows,…
|
178332
|
Sometimes you're searching for a family and you don't even know it. Sometimes a family finds you.
|
1783118
|
I looked at her, shook my head and tried to smile. She smiled back, beaming a radiance that pushed away the chill.
|
178375
|
He drifted for years: No forwarding. No phone.
|
17831514
|
The rain pelted down, it got dark, and they couldn't see a thing. The wind roared like a thousand locomotives.
|
178223
|
It's blues, bars and boots since you went away. You were wiferustled like sheep, like cattle.
|
17821210
|
Poor kid. She didn't mean to leave my business card on her kitchen counter next to the telephone. It was a mistake.
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