by sara t.
After the breakup, what haunted her most was the thought of the toothbrush, an optimistic yellow shining in the sunlight on the porcelain sink.
She felt a kinship with it, its abandonment, its loyalty to the companion blue toothbrush at its side, and its good will. She wondered how long it would stay there alone and unused. Would her ex just toss it into the wastebasket one morning as he had tossed her aside one night? Maybe he would rouse from a sweaty nightmare of himself running frantically naked down the streets of Manhattan with a Monster Toothbrush chasing him and he would stumble from bed in a panic and fling the toothbrush at the mirror cursing all the while, “fuck fuck why can't I forget her”. Or maybe one morning after washing his face he would gingerly pick up the forgotten toothbrush and absent mindedly brush his teeth, vaguely wondering at why he had two toothbrushes and then forgetting about it with a shrug and continuing on with his day.
She preferred the nightmare scenario.
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The closing is effective here. I like it. Strong opening as well. Solid work in a small space, Sara.
Nice. I like the "optimistic yellow" and the unsentimental, distanced tone of this.
thanx, guys, im starting to like working these short pieces.
Really nice piece, Sara. I like the focus of a whole relationship whittled down onto the toothbrush.
Thanx Susan,its strange isnt it, the things that get to us.
I like the strong emotion alongside the comic "Monster Toothbrush chasing him" bit. A wry bit of vengeance there!
Yes Ed! thanx for your comment.
ditto what Ed said. A quick smile to break up...well...the break up. Maybe replace "ex" with "he". I really like this Sara!
thanx michael!
A lot of humanity in a very short space. Good piece.
Love this, Sara, especially the last line!