Stories tagged song

I Heard You Like the Back Seat Too, Honey: Song

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They met at a bar They didn’t get far They went to her car Then back to the bar He played guitar She was a rock star They met at a bar They didn’t get far Well, I heard you liked the back seat too, Honey I heard that you liked to h

Going Commando

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I have the fear of comedy I have the laughter of war I have the need of a commando To come sack and ransack us Over and over again, O I am a pillow, a rock, an ant A soft Southern deer in the headlights I have the mask of Anonymity Lyi

He Sure Can Play Piano with Those Giant Lobster Hands

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He sure can play piano With those giant lobster hands In his ratty raccoon coat And his old black cowboy hat His boots of Spanish leather And face like sultry weather His raspy croaking voice Picking out the words so choice They reall

My Hillbilly's Got a Hole In It

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My hillbilly’s got a hole in it And I think I’m gonna die I swear you can see right through him Got a big hole in his side I think I pulled the trigger On the truth gun at my side Then it just got bigger It started getting wide He tried

It's Legal Here

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You may think it's illegal Well, you'd be wrong, ya hear? Cause you're just in the wrong Neck of the woods And it's legal here Want some beer? Yeah, that's right It's legal here Don't go opening the door Any wider, I know You don't

Until We See Again

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I saw a big dog By the side of the road I saw a small deer By the side of the road A little maroon water in a glass As I was driving home Under darkness With the wind that was under a rose New blood will fill the earth And we must lo


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You better read the papers If you don’t understand Cause as of last night I’m a one-man band You’d better walk through water With your boots on fire Cause Baby I don’t think I can take this any higher You’d better find out what I dr

Lava Lamps R Us

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I was sitting in the bar With lava lamps all around Feeling like an f'ing hippie From Mississippi When the planet spun around And the time was backing up And an eentzy weentsy puff of weed It just flew right outta my mouth And I hopped

Six Big Curses

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I ain’t one who don’t sing verses Exactly as they seem But tonight I’ll bring six curses On that new boy you’ve been seeing I know I was only your country mouse And you wanted a bigger house In some other city than I was in With your sch

A Horse Without a Loofah

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You better look into the mirror Check the picture window too I may not be the only one Who's broken Don't it take a little more When I'm not with you? Don't try to fix me anymore I ain't the one that's broken It’s been years since We

What's a Horse without a Loofah?

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A horse is a horse Of course, of course Unless it's a horse Without a Loofah You better look into the mirror Check the picture window too I may not be the only one Who's broken Don't it take a little more When I'm not with you? Don

Cold, Cold Night

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I thought I heard Follow your heart On the cold, cold Night of the soul I thought I heard Follow your heart, follow your heart On this coldest night Of the soul Leaves on fire, leaves on fire They told me look Into the flames To

Dreams That Sorrow Owns

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Maybe tomorrow someone dreams And maybe someone moans But beware the steam inside the dome It’s just dreams that sorrow owns If it resonates, say so Ho in a raccoon coat Slow bum ahead If it resonates, say so, say so And her man, yo

Hooters Altering Iconic Uniforms for More 'Family Friendly' Vibe at New Outlets

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Oh, no, they’re ruining Hooters With these new “family-friendly” Unskimpified uniforms in Asia I mean, it’s “Hooters” Isn’t it? What could be More family-friendly Than hooters By definition they are “Family Friendly” Geez, get a life

American Soul

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At one time it appeared that Everyone was walking their own angel On a leash, but Now we're not that sure at all And it could come out in song That it might really be the angels Who’ve been walking us All along All this broken glass