1197 0 1
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At first we thought we could get by using honey so we all stormed the SuperMart and cleaned the shelves out of Suzie Bee Honey. First the jars and then the squeeze bottles, but it wasn't the same. Then Mary Sue yelled out “How about brown sugar?”…
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1587106
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It was fun, until he started winning every time.
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62536435
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Mr. Dorn finishes the song and stands holding his penis, looking amazed, as if penises had just been invented and he'd been asked to try this one out for size.
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2806159
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“How’s the Pinto running?” Sean says. It’s been awhile. Maybe Darcy won’t remember him.
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24286425
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He’d kept the parking space open. She used it most often, whenever she and her husband, an old drinking buddy, came to visit.
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121200
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But I am quite sure,
in my loneliness,
there is nothing that aches inside me more,
than a desire to persist.
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104600
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"Man, I'd love to do coke chopped up with the remains of this motherfucker," he said as the unicorn's head smacked against the screen of his netbook for the 12,364th time.
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132841
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I’m squatting naked over the hand mirror, feet cold on the terrazzo floor, looking at my winking arsehole.
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62110
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Little Dave, I thought--what's he doin' drinking coffee? Then I figured out he must have been 18 if I was twenty. He could drink coffee if he wanted.
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119062
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Oh, crap! Once you leave your body like that, why do you have to come back down to earth? That’s what I want to know. I remember you wearing English Leather aftershave. Anytime I catch a whiff of it now, it brings back some intense memories!
And I r
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123432
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I didn't feel when you cut out my spine I'd been throwing up all night couldn't even smell the rust …
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146053
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I opened my switchblade mouth and sliced
through the scab of silence.
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111221
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Keisha selected a strawberry swirl cupcake from the waiter's tray, so pretty, from the hottest, coolest, newest patisserie. Moist strawberrylishious cake, swirly pink frosting, sprinkles. Keisha was one lucky lady, scoring a bizdev gig at recession-proof…
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130110
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This must never get out in the press, for it would cause widespread panic. The priests would surround my house, not to mention the police and possibly the army. Castor Desayuno has come back from the dead!
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85030
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...something is pulsing in the shovel against the window and its pompadour of snow.
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57200
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When informed that the hourly rate of Chloe Schultz, the lawyer who handles their collections would increase to $300 an hour, Mort Zucker said “I’m sorry--there’s no woman in Boston worth that kind of money with her clothes on.”
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12371610
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They teach that emotional pain is physical pain, culture pain is science pain, but they cannot test for the absence of these synaptic conclusions. I will say, if you can test me and find something missing then you can supplement me for the missing thing.
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118400
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Ireland - her beauty is like a drug.
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113200
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Sir Reginald Lionel Windsworth described the match in Englishmen's Lahore Gazette as, "A plethora of mistakes and complete absence of human sense."
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101700
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He'd always considered it his bus.
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128372
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“Careful of the shells,” yousaid. I wanted to tasteyour white, and makea table of your midriff. Georgia's just aplace withso little, butan island nevertheless. Sky's a thing weseem to be, when thelight focuses on…
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101522
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The boss has a serious problem--he's too nice for his own good.
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191575
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The cat's on the floor fussing with the plastic bag from the liquor store. There are tiny scratches and bites on my hand. The TV is fully concerned with liquor-induced violence. "These people are thirsty." I'm the same, but my needs are met. Prohibition's over. …
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80220
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You can’t know everything you want to know, about anyone. (Especially about me!) You can’t even know everything you want to know about Sharon, and I probably know more than you do. In fact, I’m sure I do. For instance, did you know about that guy
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102100
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" ... that’s a seriously good result for an opening night."
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19922512
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141820
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Crazy. I really hate when people use that word.
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115081
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In between ketchup-covered fries, a Quarter Pounder, and a vanilla shake, catty comments, and lots of laughs, Marylou slipped in her announcement, a grenade in a rose garden. “I'm pregnant,” she said.
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133021
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“The Boy from Thuringia” is part of a series of stories collectively called The History of Adoption. In it, a middle-aged man sets out rather obsessively to write a comprehensive history of the adopted child. In his attempts to finally begin this im
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145753
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Excessively. And this worried her, of course.
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