"Tell me things I won't mind forgetting," she said. "Make it useless stuff or skip it."

I met Lizzie after her break up with Brad. Big-Dick-Brad she used to call him. That’s ok, I’m not a man, I don’t have penis envy, I feel sorry for men who can’t please the masses like a fruiterer.

I admired her stamina. Her ability to Charlie Sheen it night after night.

One can smuggle drugs inside a pussy. (also, see tags!)

Boil 8-10 red potatoes and 6 eggs in heavily salted water. Remember that the first chef you worked under taught you to salt egg-boiling water because the salt breaks down membranes between shell and meat, making the egg easier to peel later on. Decide tha

My date with Satan commenced at the Sanrio store by Union Square where we went to browse through two stories of miniature Japanese school supplies and grooming accessories.

Could I believe at one time it was between this and baseball fantasy camp?

She wonders if Minh knows fear, if it is something that forms in the womb, like fingernails.

I didn’t hear that Duncan Pratt had been killed until I’d been out of the Army for two weeks and had gone four days without a single thought about that final year in Vietnam.

Gasps and shouts, a hand on my arm, sequined gowns and expensive colognes parting before me. And then, there, Raymond’s crumpled form on the hardwood floor of the foyer, like a sleeve torn from a jacket, the stitches frayed and useless.

Jonathan jumps up from his seat, knocking over his mug of coffee, when Mona tells him she thinks she is in labor.

It’s Halloween in veterinary school. The large-animal vet who is lecturing today on introductory nomenclature in bovine medicine is dressed in full Holstein uniform. His entire body is cloaked in white cloth, with black patches sewed on and a three-dim

When my mother called to tell me what had happened with Francine, she was crying. The minute Francine left, my mother understood that woman had bamboozled her. We got on the next jet down to L.A. and rented a car. Gina and I drove all the way out past Ont

I decided to cheat on my husband the day the washing machine broke. It was Darrell's fault, anyway. If he hadn't tried to wash the dog in the Maytag, none of this would've happened. It just goes to show that a man who forsakes the normal use of a househol

Before I published anything in a literary magazine, I was rejected by literary magazines, dozens of them, and these rejections gave birth to one of my more strange and long-lived art projects.